Moments (Harry Styles) **ON HOLD**

Chapter eleven

Nicole’s POV

 

Twists. Every story and film has them, but somehow they ended up in my life. The catch is you should know how to deal with them. Guess that will be the harder part for me. It’s been weeks since Harry left. It’s been weeks since I started to feel lonely and sad, like there’s no life for me. Why do I have to attach to persons that fast? Alex is telling me I’ll fall into depression if I don’t stop acting like this. It’s like the parents gone situation all over again except Harry do cares about me. When I got back from the airport that day, I found Harry’s and mine pictures from photo booth. I thought he forgot them, but it turned out he wanted for me to have them. I try not to look at them too much, as they just remind me how much I miss being with him. Harry calls, though, as well as Liam, but since they are super busy, they call once in a week; sometimes once in a month, which isn’t enough for me. I know that I sound more selfish as every day passes and I don’t like it being that way. I want to go back to being the smiley and carefree Nicole. There’re three months left until school’s over and they seem to drag down as slow as they can just to make my life more painful than it is. The bullying will stop and I might just go back to being my normal self. Veronica, on the other hand, was thrilled when she read in the magazine about the “break up”, but instead of calming the situation the dust came to rise. Not with paparazzi, though. They left along with Harry and the lads, so no more public life for me. Veronica didn’t take a break from bullying me. It only got worse. It’s like the fear I had was coming true at the worst possible moment. The headlines in magazines and the topics on gossip shows were always Nicole Owen breaks superstar Harry Styles’ heart?. I was so tired of seeing it everywhere I turn around, but that was my choice. I can’t and won’t blame it on anyone else.

It was just another boring Monday - the day no one loves. For me, it meant the sequel to bullying treatment I’ve been getting regularly. I was in a pretty bad mood and that has been happening a lot since the boys left that somehow I got used to it. It seemed like everything I did, was related to them and I wasn’t sure I will be able to forget about them for a second ‘cause all I did was bringing them up, again. I’ve been living alone for a while, as my grandma thought that it wouldn’t be good for Will to be in a depressed home. I was alone all day, in school, and all night, at home. In some way it eased the pain. The walls absorbed every scream and every emotion with a sound I would have. I started to have nightmares and the sleeping barely existed. Everything was numb, so not even the pain that hurt the most could make me flinch. My marks were so low, that I thought I would lose my scholarship for the UK. I didn’t have a motivation. I didn’t have anything nor anyone.

The worst part of the day was school, like always. It’s just that emotion was tripled as the lads left. Every day after school, I had something to do whether it’d be with Harry or the lads all together, I had something to be happy about. Veronica and the gang found it interesting to bully me a lot more and I was on the edge of self-harming. If I looked back, I’d never thought it would come to that. Not in a million years.

Lunch break was something I didn’t like at all. Everyone was at the cafeteria and I’d get looks from them. I was a pathetic liar and whatnot. I started skipping meals because I didn’t have the power of will to eat, so I don’t know what I was doing there. I could be somewhere else. Somewhere where I’d be alone, where no one could bother me. My teacher thought it would be good for me to write a diary. To put my emotions into words, which was always a hard thing to do. You have to put your emotion into words, so everyone could understand it. What if there are emotions that couldn’t be explained? What are we supposed to do then? Live with them? So, there I was, sitting alone at the table writing my diary. I would usually draw something in it and it would represent my mood of the day. I’d hear whispers from time to time, but as I was so used to that I didn’t pay much attention to them. Suddenly, I saw four big shadows forming on my table. I put my hair behind my ear, so I could see who it was - four most popular guys in school. I can’t say I was surprised. I expected this to happen. It would have happened sooner or later, but I guess it was just better to get over with it. I didn’t have the slightest clue what they could do to me. They couldn’t hit me as they would end up in the detention class, so that was a good thing. “What are you writing there? A sequel to your made up romance with Harry?” one of the guys said mocking a girl’s voice. He was really tall, light-haired with blue eyes. I wasn’t scared of him. His eyes were telling the truth - he didn’t want to do that, but being the popular one, he had to do it, so he would fit in. And I totally got that, so I’m okay with it. It’s better for him to do it than some other guy who would actually enjoy my humiliation and pain. At some point, the rest of the guys started to get into my face cutting off my personal space. I felt invaded. I wanted to run away. But even if I tried, they would stop me, so there was no point in trying it. I was aware of that. I was wondering to which limit they were ready to go. Would they cross the line or should I just leave it and not draw one? I started to panic. Everyone shouting in my face. Too much to handle until I heard an unknown voice. “Get lost.” everyone turned around to see who it was as my eyes were closed shut. I admit, I was afraid to know. I was hoping it was Harry’s voice, but deep down I knew that wasn’t possible. He was somewhere in the UK, far away from me and that madness that was going on in there. Fear came to me. I didn’t know what was happening. It was a mystery to me. I started to open my eyes slowly. The guys were gone. There was no one around except one unknown boy who was sitting across of me. A new bully. That was something that I needed right now. I needed someone who will make my life more miserable than it actually was. In situations like that, I get to see high school wasn’t what I had expected it to be. “Did they hurt you?” a boy spoke up catching me by surprise. He actually cared if I was hurt. Did he know what will that do to his reputation there? He will become a new victim of bullying. I’m not going to let that happen. Just, walk away, Nicole. Walk away. “You don’t really want to do this.” I said my voice shaking. My hands hurried to grab my stuff and disappear from the cafeteria. My brain was a control freak in that moment, but my body refused to obey it. I leaned on the table with one hand trying to look the guy in the eyes and explain how much the situation is serious around here. “You don’t realise in what you are getting into.” were my words before I exited the room. I wanted to save him the suffer people would give him. I didn’t want to sound rude or unappreciating for what he has done for me even though he doesn’t know anything about me. I walked to my locker and stopped in my track. I forgot my diary! How could that happen? How could I be so stupid to forget the most important thing?! I turned around and started running back to the cafeteria. Books everywhere. “I’m so sorry. Won’t happen again, I promise!” I said panicking. When you bump into someone in my school it’s like you’ve committed a crime. Just pray that wasn’t a popular person, because if it is, you’re dead - literally. “You did nothing wrong, no need to be sorry.” the boy said smiling “Your diary.” he continued handing me the diary. How should I feel in that moment? Happy? I’ve just made a friend or haven’t I? “Thanks.” a weak smile was all he could get in that moment, but deep down I was happy because he just proved that not all the people in the world were the same. He was an average height. His brown hair was fixed to stay in a perfect way. I couldn’t help but notice how his face lines are harsh, but forming a very nice effect at the end.  His green eyes went right through my soul. He could see everything in it without knowing anything about me. Everything fitted perfectly when it’s put together. I wasn’t aware of time in that moment. It’s difficult for me to admit, but his eyes distracted me. “I’m Zach, by the way.” he smiled, again. No, that wasn’t happening. Nicole, for God’s sake you’re with Harry! I shook the thoughts away. I wasn’t doing anything wrong. A girl can’t think a guy’s hot. Well, in our defence, guys think girls look hot all the time and they check them out regularly. So, basically, I wasn’t the guilty that time. “Nicole, nice to meet you.” I replied wondering should I give a chance to this “friendship” or whatever it was, or should I just forget about it and move on with my life.