(Don't) Leave Me Alone •twenty one pilots-Tyler Joseph•

thirty//can you fix the broken?

||Charlotte Robin Dun|| First Person||

"Your vitals seem to be-" Dr. Tancredi begins to mumble while scribbling down word after word about how my medical condition is. Dr. Tancredi pulled out of my usual schedule to perform a check up on how I'm dealing with the change of medication. She did the necessary and typical doctor-like things by checking my breathing along with asking me typical questions such as how I've been adjusting to the antidepressants and the new anxiety medication. My blood pressure is doing good, along with my heart rate(which is strange considering that it feels like it's running track within the confines of my chest), and my body weight. Dr. Tancredi mentioned that I've lost about four pounds since my last checkup the day I got here, which concerns her, but I promised her that I eat all of my food and don't exercise excessively. She expects me to gain that weight back. "-great. Other than the weight loss, I'd say you're perfectly healthy." She swivels back around in her office chair and flashes me a smile. Something about Dr. Tancredi is just so nice and calming, and I can tell that she's one of the few people that I probably wouldn't consider punching in the face. "Any questions?"

"Yeah, uh, actually, it's about the Ativan." I say shyly. "It's not working."

"It isn't?" She asks me in a surprised tone of voice.

"No, I feel like it's not changing anything. I still feel anxious practically all of the time." I answer her quietly, twiddling my thumbs. "I don't know if it's getting worse or what."

"I guess..." she turns around to my medical chart, flipping through it before stopping on a page and continuing to speak, "... you're at a low dosage right now, but I could raise it just a bit, okay?" She sighs in a way that makes it sound like she's almost guilty. "Instead of taking 1 mg twice a day, how about 2 mg twice a day?" When I nod my head, she smiles. "I'll get that prepared for your nightly dosage later, alright?" She stands up and pats my shoulder lightly. "Most people don't like drugs like lorazepam because it's highly addictive. The highest I could legally give you is 10 mg, but I'm limiting you to 5 in the long run. Let me know if there's anymore issues regarding the matter, okay?" She waits for me to nod before she helps me off of the high cot. "Head on to dinner. You better finish," she warns me with a playful grin, which makes me smile and nod my head.

"Alright, thank you." I tell her, heading for the door. My hand tightens around the golden doorknob, but just as I'm about to twist it, Dr. Tancredi is resting a hand on my shoulder to capture my attention.

"Robin?" She says. "You're a bright girl. I don't want to see you hurt."

"What are you talking about?" I raise my eyebrows.

"I know what it feels like to lose somebody you love. My husband, Michael, he was killed a couple of years ago." She looks down and frowns just the slightest bit, giving me the hint that she's probably remembering him right now. "I know how difficult it can be to get back on your feet, but I need you to try. Not because people are counting on you, but because you're counting on you." Dr. Tancredi chews on her lower lip in thought. "It's not right that you have to go through this, but I need you to know that none of it was your fault. I need you to know that it's okay to move on."

"He wouldn't want that." I say quietly.

"I'm sure he would- if he truly loved you, he would want you to move on. I see that you're hanging around that other boy-?" Dr. Tancredi begins to smile.

"Tyler?" I ask for confirmation, to which she nods. "He's my... he's my boyfriend." It sounds too strange coming out of my mouth. I never imagined that I'd call anybody else, much less Tyler Joseph, my boyfriend. But here I am today, being given the chance to announce that I'm in love with Tyler and he loves me just as much. I'm almost too scared to see Dr. Tancredi's reaction until I realize that she's grinning at me.