Zaire stepped out of the hospital and walked ahead, staring into space. Recently she'd been subconsciously protecting her stomach when she was in public places. Just as she reached for her phone in her pocket, it began to vibrate.
'Zaire.'
'Maro?'
'Just saw you, I was driving past with them lot. Need a lift?'
'Oh is it? No, no it's fine, I'm fine.'
'You sure? Where you headed?'
God knows...
The wind blew out the tears that had been stinging the back of her eyes; they didn't even get to land on her face.
'Zai? Zai...you still there?'
'Going for a walk, my head's messed.'
'You ok and the...baby?'
'Yeah, yeah we are just fine Maro.'
'Ok, well call me when you get home. Just know I'm here if you need anything.'
'I know, I know.' She smiled as though he could see her. 'Thank you.'
'Alright, take care.'
Zaire sat at the bus stop for ages, even though she attempted to gather her thoughts her mind was blank. She just gave up and went home.
'I was sitting there and just thinking like rah, what am I doing, Zai?' The hairs on the back of Zaire's neck rose when she walked into her bedroom and Cory was sitting on the edge of her bed, facing the window. She kissed her teeth sharply.
'How am I gonna be a father to someone else like...we all know I ain't a stable youth. F*ck it, nothing in my world is stable. And we're really gonna bring a child up in this f*cke-'
'You're so pathetic; I won't allow you to let my baby down.'
'Did you find out the sex?' He turned to her with a surprising look of excitement in his eyes. Zaire would be lying if she said she was taken aback, he was so unpredictable it terrified her. His mood swings were so rapid.
'Get the f*ck out.' She refused to look at him.
'You mad at me Zai?'
'...'
'I was just trying to be real with you, sit down let's talk about this.' He was so calm. Zaire was the one who was infuriated, as usual he made it seem like this was so minor.
'You promised...'
'I know but I lied to myself...how could I tell you the truth if I'm deceiving myself?'
'Yeah cus you're full of sh*t.'
'Don't shout.' He winced and held his hand up. 'Sit down, don't get yourself worked up.'
'Keep patronising me and I'll slap you.'
'But you won't though.'
'You're testing me as always cus this is all a flipping game right?' Zaire sneered at him and walked out of the room. She made her way into the bathroom and started to run herself a bath. She poured some oil into the water to help avoid her getting harsh stretch marks. She removed her clothes and climbed in. Zaire tied up her messy Afro hair and lay in the bath with her eyes closed. Usually she'd feel so tranquil but she was jittery, she felt uncomfortable with Cory in the house. The root of many of her issues, so much of his presence represented all that unsettled her. She couldn't afford to worry about anyone. All she knew was that she had to be selfish now and put her child first.
