Gentleman's Affair

If This Was Sex I Think I Would Die

Although I was still quite mad with Mr. Hale I couldn't deny my certain attraction I had for him. I mean how can two people who work together form a relationship anyways? It's inappropriate him being my boss and all.

I decide to text Brooke because she would be able to give me a good answer. At least I hope she could...

Brooke is always the best person to go for when you need some consoling. "Brooke!" I cheerfully announce her name as she answers.

"Elle! What's been going on? You never told me what happened the other night with Mr. Hale," she states her voice sounding a little baby like.

I laugh softly seeing as she would want the latest gossip. "He just simply brought me home. Nothing too rash," I lie. I know I shouldn't have, but how would you explain what's going on. "I actually need some advice though!"

"Ooooo!!" She squeals as if she's finally doing something helpful.

I begin to explain the battle between two gentleman who I'm finding hard to choose between. "Sex!" She exclaims cheerfully.

"Huh?"

Brooke giggles through the phone. "Oh come on," she pushes the subject, "it's ok to have sex with someone."

The very word I dreaded.

Sex.

"You want me? To have sex? With both of them?" I don't know why but I bust out with laughter as she's clearly been doing some kind of drugs. "Really Brooke? What would you do?" I ask in a whiny tone of voice.

Brooke sighs as if she's talking to a child. "Ellie, I would say pick the one you have the most feelings for. Sometimes we just have to go with our heart on things, but it seems to me like you're stuck in a rut. They both seem like great guys."

"Look Elle, just because you have sex it will not make you a slut or any less of a woman. Everyone has different standards, and it's amazing you have such high standards for yourself. Most women would rather you have sex with a person just because they think they love that person. I realize you would rather wait, but maybe you need to lift some weight off your shoulders." Brooke makes a valid point I'm sitting her condescending having sex when I haven't even experienced it to have a say.

Then again I was more worried about actually being able to be respected for what I had between my legs. Somehow sex to me was more important when you were in love with someone rather than just making it a regular routine. "I guess you're right. I'm just so worried about how I view myself after I have done it."

I hear Brooke smile through the phone as she gasps slightly. "Well since you're worried about your v-card, let's look at this from different angles. You have obviously never had sex win anyone and you want to save it for the right person. I reckon one of these guys wants to see what's underneath the hood?" She asks trying to contemplate her next set of words.

"Yeah... somewhat," I slightly hide the truth. "I don't think I'm at much liberty to even choose between the two guys. Maybe I should just stop trying to assess something that's not there."

As I start to ramble there's a knock at the door. Only person it could be was Xander since he stated and I quote "I know where all my employee's live" which now that I think about it very logical considering you have to put your address down on job applications. I lift the phone just a few inches above my ear to make sure I wasn't hearing things. "Umm, Brooke, hold on just a sec."

I put down my phone on the coffee table beside me, and stand up slowly as the knocking proceeds one more time. "Coming!" I yell out to the either stranger or a rather demanding stranger. The walk to the door was quite the emotional journey. My thoughts were leading me everywhere. Maybe it was Mr. Hale at the other side of the maple wood door. I had the feelings of doubt, concern, weariness, and to my dismay affection.