Pain

Freedom

My back hurt really bad when I woke up, maybe because I fell asleep against the wall near the window.  El was standing in front of me with her hands on her hips, and I smiled."  I guess someone was really tired huh?"  She asked, and I nodded."  I just didn't feel comfortable sleeping in the bed last night, so I fell asleep with my back on the cold wall."  El nodded in agreement, and looked out the  window.  There was a beam of sunshine going across her face, and it made her blue eyes twinkle.  I stood up, and she rubbed my shoulders."  We called your parents, and also Tina, to tell them you'll be leaving today."  I felt nervous of facing the world of my life again, and shivered.  El smiled at me as she gave me a set of clothes."  You'll be fine."  She said rubbing my cheek, and leaving me to change.  I put on the pair of black skinny jeans, red converses, and maroon hoodie."  Bleib Ruhig."  (Stay Calm.)  I told myself as I washed my face, and combed my hair.  It was sort of making me happy that I was leaving this place.

We were all able to leave when we wanted, and we stood in the hallway awkwardly.  Alex had to stay for another week, and we said we would be waiting for him on the outside.  Louie was going to live with his two Mom's, Ruth going to live with Steve in his apartment, Red was going to her Dad's, and I told them I was going to my maid's house."  Is she a close friend of yours?"  Red asked, and I nodded."  She's always been there for me."  We walked out of the hospital together, and we me by my Mother and Father with Tina behind then."  Jerliko!"  Tina cried, and hugged me around the neck.  The other's whistled at me, and I glared at them."  You okay?"  She asked as she checked my face, and kissed my cheek.  Mother walked up slowly to me, and I looked at her."  Jerliko?"  She asked, and she put her hand on my shoulder."  Es tut mir leid für Sein eine schreckliche Mutter."  (I'm sorry for being a terrible mother.)  She said, and I smiled at her.  She hugged me around the neck, and I felt tears run down my face." Ich vergebe dir Mutter."  ( I forgive you Mother.)  I said, trying not to make my voice crack.

My father walked up to me, and he placed his hand on my shoulder.  I didn't say anything, and he didn't say anything else.  We stood there awkwardly, and he smiled."  Liebe dich Sohn."  (Love you Son.)  He simply said, and I nodded my head in thank.  Tina continued to hug me some more, and I went with her to her house.  She had a pretty big house for being a maid.  Two floor apartment with two bathrooms, three bedrooms, one office, a kitchen,and a living room."  Wow, this place is huge."  I said, and noticed two bags on her couch."  Those are your clothes for how long you'll be staying here."  I thanked her, and brought it up to my room.

It was still morning, yet I was exhausted.  So much emotion went into this day, and it was only eleven.  I stood over the king sized bed, just staring at it for a second.  I haven't slept in one of them in two weeks, it would feel so strange to have more room.  To have a room bigger than a Lego block, to not have the white walls surrounding me.  Now they were dark blue."  You miss it there don't you?"  Tina asked in the doorway, and I looked over at her."  I guess I do, I miss sleeping next to my friends.  But I'll still be able to see them, so that's okay."  She nodded, and rubbed my shoulder."  Get some rest."  She said, and left.  I put on striped pajama bottoms, and got into bed.  I pulled down the shades, and tried to get it as dark as I could.

I awoke to the noise of hospital machines, thousands of them.  I sat upright in my hospital bed, and walked down the hall.  The group was waiting for me in the meeting area."  Hey, he's finally up.  What took you so long toothpick?"  Ruth asked, and I stood there for a moment.  Mary was smiling at me, and I sat down next to her."  Hawk, why did you leave us?"  Suddenly, they disappeared.  I started falling, and could still hear them."  You never showed up again, you just disappeared.  We thought you loved us, we thought you cared.  But you didn't."  I started screaming for help, and screaming for mercy."  No, I love you all.  I care about you all!  Don't leave me in the dark, you said you were there for me!  DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE THE OTHERS!"

I woke with a startle, and Tina was at my side.  It was dark now, and rain was falling down the windows."  It was just a dream."  Tina said softly into my ear as she brushed her fingers through my hair."  They all left me alone in the dark, like I was a broken toy."  I pushed my face into my pillow, and she continued to brush my hair."  It's okay, it's your first night out of the hospital.  You might have nightmares, it what happened to me."  I looked up at her, and she smiled."  I was in the hospital for a month after my surgery on my leg, and I had nightmares for the next week that I got out."  She rubbed my cheek, and kissed my forehead."  You'll be fine, I know you will."

"I don't want to be alone tonight."  I told her, and she nodded."  Okay, I'll stay with you.  She got under the covers, and wrapped her arms around my naked waist."  I'm here with you Jerliko."  SHe said, and I turned my head."  Hawk."  I said, and she lifted her head."  Sorry?"

"I got the nickname Hawk when I was a kid, and I was wondering if you could call me Hawk.  It's like wiping the old me away."  Tina pressed her head between my shoulder blades, and she laughed."  Okay, I'll call you Hawk.  It has a nice ring to it."  I smiled, and I went back to sleep.