Pain

Blood

I've been having nightmares every time I shut my eyes to sleep.  Mary has been in isolation for the past day and a half.  It's my third day here, and I haven't been very talkative with the others.  I've gone to group, but not talking much.  El has tried to talk to me, but I've been isolating myself.  It wasn't because of Mary, because I knew she was okay.  It was my memories, they were ganging up against me in my head.  They were  so horrifyingly evil, that it was painful to watch them.  I was in the shower when one of them hit me hard.  The first time I was hit by Mother.  I had gotten a C on one of my tests in second grade, and she was furious." Wie konntest du so schlecht zu tun! Sie dumme Kind!"  (How could you do so badly! You dumb child!)  She pulled her hand back, and slapped me hard across the face.  It was as if the slap came to life again, because my head slammed against the shower wall hard.  I turned the water off, and pulled a towel around my waist.  I checked my head to find a tiny cut under my eye.  El had came in as I touched it carefully."  What happened?"  She asked, and I lied to her."  I slipped in the shower, and cut myself on a jagged tile."  I said, and she touched it carefully."  Well, I'll get some ice to put on it.  Be back in a few."

I put on clothes, and walked out into my room.  Then everything went black.  My memories were out of control, and eating away my mind like maggots.  Everything was shooting pain through my skull, and was just plan painful to even think.

I woke up in a different hospital room, with needles and tubes going into me.  An oxygen mask covered my face, and everything hurt."  Jerliko?"  I opened my eyes a little more, and I saw El standing there.  She looked concerned for me, and I smiled a little bit at her."  You scared us to death, but you still have that smile."  She said, her eyes red from crying."  What happened?"  I asked, and looked around the room to adjust my eyes."  It's as if your brain had an overload, so we gave you some medicine to stop it from happening again."  She rubbed my forearm, and smiled at me."  From now on, we'll be talking twice a day.  This time I want you to tell me everything, okay?  You deserve to be heard Jerliko."  I smiled at her, and she ruffled my hair.

After about an hour of tests, I was allowed to go back to my normal room."  Hungry?"  She asked, and I shook my head."  Okay, well if you are dinner is until the next hour.  Mary's there, just to let you know."  I realized there was another bed in my room now, and smiled."  Could you bring some jello, that would help me a bit."  I asked, and she nodded.  She brought me back some jello, and I thanked her.  I slurpped the cubes up, and got into bed.  I heard Mary come in the room, and I stayed completely still.  I felt her crawl into bed with me, and put her arms around me."  You okay?"  I asked her, and she sighed with happiness."  Yeah, Isolation isn't so bad.  It's just being in a tiny room for hours at a time, helps me think a lot.  What about you?  Heard you had a little attack?"  I nodded, and turned so I was facing her."  My memories are eating at my brain, so it kind of caught up to me."  She nodded, and I hugged her close to me."  I'll protect you."  She said, and I fell asleep.

I woke up with a massive headache, and Mary was gone to breakfast.  I was getting up to go to breakfast, when I felt vibrating pain go through my head.  I tried to get to the bathroom to check what was wrong, but my body just collapsed.  I pushed myself into the corner, and hugged my legs close to me.  My nose was bleeding, and I shivering badly.  El came in, and saw me sitting there, and came over to me.  I tried to get away from her, and she placed her hands on my cheeks."  It's pain, all I feel is pain."  I said, tears falling down my face.  She hugged me, and held me close to her."  Don't worry, it's okay.  I'm here for you.  Take theses."  She handed me some aspirin, and I took it."  Can you stand, because you have a visitor."  I nodded, and stood up.  I washed my face with cold water, and brushed my hair back.

"Who is it?"  I asked, and she smiled."  It's your Mother."