Pain

School Bully

Everyone has that bully correct?  If you don't, then you are the bully.  Or maybe you are just one of those people who are very lucky, but you probable aren't.  My bully has a name, and his name is Terry.  He's part of the school football team, and is really built.  He reminds me of the cows we use to raise at my old school in Germany.  Very big all over with muscle, very stupid.  He had brown hair with the sides shaved off, and an ugly brown color of eyes.  I first met him the second day of school, in my Literature class.  He thought of me as an easy target since I barely knew English.  I thought of how irritating it was, and that was when I started to have depression."  Why don't you go kill yourself Nazi!"  Were his first words to me, and I smile at the thought now.  

For the past two years, he's tried everything to make me hurt inside and out.  He never let anyone get close to me, so I just sat at the corner table alone at lunch.  I would sit with my back against the wall, just so he couldn't get me from behind.  He would pass by my table, and make a mean comment." Oh eating pasta huh?  Shouldn't you be eating German sausage?"  I would swear in German at him, and he start laughing.  He probable thought I was saying something nice to him, but he was wrong.  I once was shoved up against the locker's, and he started punching me really hard.  When I got home that day, mother looked at me confused.  Not shocked or scared for me being hurt, but confused."Sie ließ ihn schlagen Sie, warum haben Sie sich wehren? Sie haben Ihre Familie entehrt, du dummes Kind!"(You let him beat you up, why didn't you defend yourself? You have dishonored your family, you stupid child!)  She told me, and I glared at the table." Er ist größer als ich Mutter. Ich habe versucht, sich zu wehren, aber er ist wie ein Deutscher Kuh."  (He's bigger than I mother. I tried to fight back, but he's like a German cow.)  I replied to her, and she rolled her eyes at me, and stormed into the kitchen to make food.

I got home yesterday after being punched really hard in the face, my face bruised and bleeding still.  My father yelled at me as I leaned against the doorway to keep me up." Wie konntest du noch nach Hause kommen so aussieht?"  (How could you even come home looking like this?)  I don't remember what happened next because I blacked out from blood lose.  I woke up with a pillow under my head, and my nose fixed up.  I was smiling believing my Mother or Father helped me while I was unconscious, but then I saw our maid Tina standing over me."  Your Father and Mother went out for dinner, I made sure you were cared for."  She helped me to my feet, and I leaned against her as she helped me lay on the couch.  I sat on the couch, and she placed an ice pack on my face."  Thank you, I appreciate that you cared."  She smiled, her dark brown hair falling over her eyes."  You are the only one who cares about me Mr. Jerliko, you are the sunshine of my day."  I blushed, and hugged her."  Thank you."  I said again, and she smiled at me.  My mother and father came in, and I went upstairs before they could yell at me.

I was always weak to them, never anything else.  I sat on my bed with tears falling down from pain and sadness.  I was alone, I was tired of being alone, and I was angry."  I'm going to do it tomorrow, the day before their trip.  They'll find me, and start crying.  Fuck them, and fuck this life.  I'm done being pushed around."  I shivered a bit, and turned off the lights.