FLORIDA MAN: THE ORIGINAL SAGA

Chapter 9: The Attack

Florida Man and Shrek were making out on the living room table, throwing garbage and moldy food on each other. Suddenly however, Shrek stops and stands up.

Shrek would then scream as a loud rupture of noise would emit from somewhere behind him. Florida Man then stood up and walked to the window, where he saw a mob wielding pitch forks and signs.

The mob then charged at his house and smashed through the windows. Shrek and Florida Man flipped over tables and couches, creating a makeshift fort where they would throw golden monster energy cans and cheeto bags. Their weapons weren't very effective, however.

Florida Man then punched a hole in his ceiling and threw cheeto dust into it. All the dead, rotting alligator carcasses inside came to life and lunged down.

They then attacked the people of Miami, ripping them apart. But before they could finish all of them off, they were all thrown to the stratosphere by the leader of the mob.

SIR OUTHOUSE.

Before Sir Outhouse can start his attack, an old man walks out of florida man's bathroom, oblivious to what is happening. Sir Outhouse then punches him in the face, sending him flying to jupiter.

Florida Man and Sir Outhouse then slapped their hands. Shrek walked between them, kissed Sir Outhouse on the lips, and then ripped him in half and devoured his corpse.

Florida Man and Shrek then put their furniture back in place and ate old diapers.