FLORIDA MAN: THE ORIGINAL SAGA

Chapter 4: Finding the Dorito Island

Florida man walked home, but was confused as to why shrek was not present. He seemed to have forgotten the fact shrek had gotten in a car accident. He walked to the accident and stood on the sidewalk, staring at the raging inferno in the middle of the street. He stood, drinking a can of bud light. Shrek then walked out of the flames and dusted himself off.

Shrek followed florida man home, and they began setting up decorations and various other things for the ultimate party at their home.

The clock strikes 8:00 PM and their front door flies off its hinges, as a crowd of middle aged men flood into their house. They dance on things they aren't meant to dance on, such as couches, tables, countertops, and broken doors without hinges.

Florida man attempts to get the men to stop, but one of the middle aged men, named phil, slaps florida man in the face with his irish beer belly, making him fly across the room and smash through the wall.

The middle aged men then began to run into a certain formation. They split into 2 halves, looking as if they were about to run. Florida man stood up and stared at the 2 crowds, now knowing what was about to happen.

THE WALL OF DEATH.

The 2 sides charged at each other at full speed. Their beer bellies and dad bods collided, and with so much middle aged man and old cigarette breath power, they imploded all at once.

Florida Man's house erupted into an inferno of fire. Florida Man and Shrek escaped and ran out of the house before it collapsed. They were left homeless.

Florida Man's old friend Chad drove up to them in a rusted pickup truck with no windows. Shrek and Florida Man looked at each other in a moment of 'should we', the 2 deciding to yes, go along with this strange individual, their friend, chad.

They drove to a dock, where chad cartwheeled out of the truck and onto the dock. There, chad teleported his new massive pirate ship he had purchased off of a mysterious dark web onion site. Florida Man and Shrek immediately ran into the ship, carrying luggage and dangerous explosives. Chad followed behind them. 

Florida Man, Chad & Shrek were about to set sail, when an eruption of loud noise fills the sky behind them. The 3 turn and look at a red mushroom cloud which now stands tall over everything. Recognizing this, Shrek ordered the other 2 to set sail immediately and to hurry.

And so their journey began... they were unsure where they would go.. But they left.

2 days had now passed and Shrek was going insane on the lower deck, rocking back and forth and repeating "future". Florida Man was in the crows nest urinating off it and down onto the ship. Chad steered the ship like the chad he was. Soon, the 3 had fallen asleep.

As night would soon fall upon the sea, amidst the loud waves, florida man found himself awakening to the noise. Florida Man stood up, walking onto the deck and toward the bow of the ship. Suddenly, they were hit portside with a large object. Florida man ran toward where the damage had occurred, when it happened again, this time sending the ship erupting into flames.

Florida Man jumped off the ship, leaving Shrek and Chad to roast alive. 

For days, Florida Man floated through the water using his obesity. By now he had fallen asleep face down. Soon enough, he began to float toward an island. Eventually, he washed up on the shore. Florida Man immediately awoke and stood up. He began to walk toward the forest.

As he walked through the forest, he now heard the sound of chatter nearby. Florida Man hid in the bushes before he could be spotted. It was an entire civilization made from doritos. 

He was then spotted by the men on the Dorito island. They aimed dorito rifles at him and began to fire doritos with pointed ends like daggers. Florida Man dodged all of them with 0 difficulty and flew into the air, pulling netherite monster energy cans from nowhere. He threw them at a bridge made from doritos which sat between them.

The bridge exploded and soon the entire island began to sink. Before Florida Man could teleport away, The Dorito King landed in front of him, wielding 2 dorito swords.

Florida Man summoned the sock of infinity and punched one of the swords, making it shatter. The Dorito King slashed Florida Man across the face with the dorito sword, making him fall to the ground.

The Dorito King pointed his sword at Florida Man's neck, but then Florida Man teleported behind DK and kicked him into the shadow realm.

The Island continued to flood and collapse.

Florida Man grabbed the sock of infinity and the last Dorito Sword, and teleported back home.