FLORIDA MAN: THE ORIGINAL SAGA

Chapter 2: The Kool Aid Man Empire

Kool Aid Man and his son were going to throw a party at their solid gold mansion tonight. At this moment, they were setting things up. They poisoned the fruit punch, hid rusty nails in burger king whoppers, and built trapdoors throughout the mansion.

They now stood at the gates, ready to let people in. 600 cars showed up in a long ass line. They open the gates, and the cars would speed through. They stand there for upwards of 2 hours letting people in. They're both completely exhausted now, And not willing to party. Suddenly, a massive GMC smashes through the once closed gates, flattening them. Kool Aid Man steps out and attempts to confront the man.

KAM: ' ' WHAT IN SHREKS NAME IS WRONG WITH YOU? ' '

FM: ' ' SSUUUUFFUUGGGGAHHHUUUUAGGHHH ' '

KAM: ' ' what- ' '

FM: ' ' SKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSKSK ' '

KAM: ' ' EW! ' '

Kool aid man attempted to dump lava on florida man, however... FLORIDA MAN HAD FIRE RESISTANCE.

FM: ' ' You dare challenge me, neanderthal? ' '

KAM: ' ' huh- ' '

FM: ' ' You will suffer eternal damnation for your sins. ' '

FM then kicked KAM in the testicles as hard as he could. KAM shattered all over the floor, and his son stood there in shock. He then attempted to kill FM, but FM did the same thing to him, killing his son too. KAM then put himself back together and attacked FM, kicking him off the property. KAM then mourned the death of his only son, and vowed revenge. 

KAM kicked everyone out of his solid gold mansion, and then went to home depot to get a new solid gold front gate. People did not question why KAM walked through a home depot with a golden gate. He soon learned the golden gate would cost 90,000 dollars. He ran out, doing the GMOD bathtub method but with a golden gate, flying out of the parking lot.

He replaced the gate and went inside to drink some liquid gold tea. He did that, and then decided to watch some good ol' fashioned values, on which we used to rely.

While he sat on his solid gold couch with lettuce all over, an idea popped into his ice brain.

"What if I took over the world, and installed more giant golden gates in front of people's houses? And I threw parties there? And I committed more theft?"

KAM rubbed his glass hands together, making a horrendous sound.

Kool Aid Man, using his magical mystical powers of kool aidiness, flew around the city and forcefully installed golden gates in front of peoples houses before making the house owners pay 90k, or else he would murder them. Kool aid man quickly gained immense wealth, watching all the money flood in. Truckloads of cash would sit in his solid gold lawn, and soon enough, kool aid man became the world's wealthiest maniac.

One cloudy and British-like day, Kool aid Man would kick his feet up on his solid gold desk, And sip his golden monster energy. Soon enough, the sounds of police sirens audibly echoed off the houses. Kool Aid Man sprung up and ran outside his house.

He stopped before his own gold gate, as at least 10 police cars stopped in front of his mansion, ordering him to put his hands up. Kool Aid Man would snicker before the officers, brandishing a netherite monster energy can. The officers opened fire on the mansion, and a battle ensued.

Kool Aid Man threw his netherite monster energy can in front of his mansion, creating a massive explosion, which threw the cop cars to Boston. Police helicopters and the SWAT team showed up to Kool Aid Man's mansion, opening fire from all sides and above.

Kool Aid Man took shelter inside his mansion, searching for an object.

A Kamikaze plane flew into the mansion and created a massive explosion, which combined with the gold, and Kool aid man's powers, created a red mushroom cloud which blew far above the mansion rubble, leaking out Kool aidiation everywhere. 

Kool Aid Man, somehow having survived the explosion, begins to run away as far as possible, having essentially just nuked miami. He flees, his glass feet moving as quick as they can. Suddenly, Florida Man slams into the earth before him, and now stands, armed with the Sock of Infinity. Kool Aid Man laughed and laughed, saying "that all you got?' suddenly, Big T-Mac Diggity appeared beside florida man, yes, the collab of the century. Big T-Mac Diggity pulled out a 2nd sock of infinity. Using the 2 socks of infinity, they punched kool aid man together, punching him so hard he was sent 1000 years into the past. Miami may have fallen, but Kool Aid Man was defeated.

The two of them agreed to hide the socks of infinity, so that they may never be found again.