FLORIDA MAN: THE ORIGINAL SAGA

Chapter 3: The Return of Steve

Florida Man was watching Cocomelon on his TV, kicking his feet and pointing while laughing, as if he was a 6 year old. Shrek then smashed through his ceiling, blasting lil pump on the 2 boomboxes he carried over his shoulders. He spat the cigar out of his mouth and threw the boomboxes outside, knocking an old mans head clean off. Shrek spat on the ground in front of florida man and removed his sunglasses 'Florida Man, the Shrek Kingdom requires your assistance.'

Florida Man responded 'UIDFDGGIUGHGIUDHGGIUGH?'

'Florida Man, The Shrek Kingdom is under attack by Steve and his legion of armadillos. Will you help me disintegrate their ice cubes?' Shrek said. Florida Man kissed shrek on the cheek and then walked him outside to his brand new ferrari. The 2 got inside and proceeded to blast the florida man theme song as they flew down the road.

They drove to texas, the location of Shrek's Kingdom. Shrek was texting while driving, and florida man was asleep. Shrek was sending funny facebook memes to donkey, when suddenly he looked up and saw a large semi truck inches away from their ferrari. Shrek screamed as the semi truck slammed into their ferrari, flattening the entire front half. Florida man was thrown out of the vehicle, and sent flying through the air like a projectile. Florida man flew across texas.

Meanwhile, steve was walking with general armadillo robertson, when suddenly, florida man slammed into robertson, turning his body into a pile of mush. Florida man got up and projectile vomited into steve's face. This lasted for a good 4 minutes, until he finally stopped.

Steve kicked florida man in the chest and florida man flew off the bridge, into the river of sewage. Florida man then flew out of the river and kicked steve in the jaw, then vomiting on his head. Steve fell back onto the ground.

Steve sprung back up and threw blaze powder in florida man's face. Florida man shouted in shock as he tried to wipe it off. Steve punched florida man in the ice cubes and kicked him in the chest once more. Florida man flew up and steve teleported into the air and kicked florida man through a brick wall.

Florida Man got up and threw a golden monster energy can at steve, it exploded upon impact and steve inhaled the gold dust that shot through the air as he was thrown backward into a lemonade stand. Steve got up and kicked the child running it to ohio. Steve flew into the air and chucked bottles of mustard at florida man.

Florida Man caught them and squirted them at steve's eyes. Steve screamed in agony as mustard shot into his eyes. Steve flew backward.

Steve slammed into the earth, his spine crunching and breaking apart. Steve coughed, and died.

Florida man walked home.