Fate of Two; Entwined (Trafalgar Law X OC)

chapter 20

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They ended up docking at the first island spotted.

Various forms of pain, humiliation, and remorse threatened to drive her mind into a dark place with no return. Taking deep breaths, Feyre forced herself to be rational, to thank her lucky stars she was still breathing, but in the end, darkness still persevered. Waiting for her to let her guard down.

Because there was no strength or will left in her, no fight. She was defeated, beaten down, a shadow of her former self.

This journey was no longer the one she wanted to take.

Law deserved better than her.

She thought, if she hurt him, then he'll never return.

Hurt him, Feyre.

Hurt him so bad that he'll no longer love you.

Hurt him so he will no longer come after you.

Hurt him so bad that he will wish you didn't exist.

Those were the things the voices in her head whispered inside that storage room, telling her what she needed to do.

It's not like you gave me a choice after you spent the past three months hating me! You were going to kill them just to make me pay you—

As the words left her mouth, She bit her lip until she tasted blood to stop herself from screaming his name, to stop herself from reaching out and begging him to hold her and make all this pain go away.

Because she deserved this agony. She deserved to be punished, because she knew Law would forgive her anyway if she told him the whole truth.

She was never going to run away. Not really. No matter how many times she told herself she would, in the back of her head she always knew she'd end up running back to the person she called her home.

But her Home deserves someone better. Not a lying, deceiving, cunning nobody.

Feyre puffed the smoke of her third cigarette for the day. She needed to stop before this spiraled out of her control. Her dad always—

Her dad.

Law knew who her dad was ... in whatever way he pieced it together, she didn't care. What if he thought she already knew his history with her father? What if he already assumed she was plotting her revenge against Doflamingo all along and he was just a stepping stone to get her to her goal ... a way for her to leave the gods-forsaken island, Panacea. What if he thought he was just a vessel for her to deliver her revenge? What if ... he thought she used her powers and manipulated him when they initially met ...

How could she ever explain that to him?

I wish it was you who had died that night— not him.

Feyre pulled in another long breath from the cigarette.

How she wished she could take back those words. How she wished she could just turn back the wheels of time. But it didn't matter if she could turn back time, did it? It would still amount to the same ending. The same conclusion. She knew she'd still act foolish and abrasent. But living with the consequences of one's actions was essential. It allowed room for revaluation and better decision-making. True courage lay not in undoing one's mistakes, but in facing them heads-on, she reminded herself.

"Hey, stranger." A cool feminine voice greeted her. Nefes leaned against the main mast, Feyre's bag—that Viola had given her—hanging from her hand. "When's the mopping gonna stop?"