The Rejected Alpha

19.

THORIN

I had felt sick to my stomach after telling her what I had the other day and now, I feel like I lost her all over again except this time it is my fault.

Rubi has returned. She came back late last night and today her and I were going to spend the day together and then head out for dinner tonight.

Not that I ever felt anything for Rubi when her and I kissed or hugged her but now it seems as if even more, I feel disconnected and feel absolutely nothing.

When I look at Rubi, I see Lucille and I miss her as if she has been gone for another several years.

I am thinking of telling Rubi that I kissed Lucille and apologize for cheating. Maybe after dinner tonight. Then be sure to also explain how Lucille holds no threat to Rubi and I even though deep down I know that will never be true.

Why does love have to be so damn complicated?!

Now I understand why our kind has someone like the moon goddess to have a mate already destined for us. Then again the moon goddess has failed before, with Lucille and I.

None of that matters now since Rubi is back and I have ruined everything with Lucille.

This is my life now and that includes learning through time to love and accept Rubi as my mate. In fact, maybe things will be better once we have marked one another, in which I had planned to discuss with Rubi in hopes we can do it within the next few days.

Throughout the next few days, I have been making more of an effort than I ever have in the past in getting to treat Rubi as my mate.

I have taken notice for these past few days her behavior not being as it was before she had left. Maybe she was always the way she is now and I was always too busy not to notice or even care.

She is acting a bit distant a little and seems to always have a look upon her face as if she is thinking about something or is bored. It is possible that she misses her family back east and wishes to return, at least that's what she told me when I asked her if everything was alright.

Either way, everything I have tried in making her happy since she has returned, seems to be to no avail. Maybe she is upset we haven't marked one another yet. Could she be waiting for me to bring it up?

Tonight, I decided to try and take her out to her favorite restaurant where at some point, I would suggest we mark one another. 

I offered her to go into town and get pampered then go shopping for an outfit for tonight, but she stated she did not want to. So instead, I contacted a few ladies from one of the salons and another from a boutique to come over and help pamper her, hoping that afterwards, she would feel a little bit better.

After the ladies left, it seemed to have done the trick and she smiled a little more than she has throughout these last few days.

These last few days have not been easy for me neither as no matter what I do or how many times I try to forget about Lucille, I can't.

Hopefully, of Rubi accepts my offer in us marking one another, then thoughts of Lucille at least, 'romantically' will have disappeared.

Throughout the dinner, it seemed like Rubi and I were back to talking like we were before she left and I made sure to keep my wolf in check, seeing as to how he kept trying to tell me not to mark her.

"You know, I have been thinking a lot about some things and I must apologize for not ever putting as much effort before into you becoming my Luna." I tell her.

"It's okay. I know you've dealing with a lot and learning so much." She replies.

"I appreciate that but, I think that it's time you and I make it official." I manage to come right out and tell her, despite my wolf trying to stop me.

She looks at me surprised?!

I am not sure in exactly how I should feel or even respond at the moment, seeing as to how this was not the reaction I was expecting. Then the next thing I knew, she looked down at her lap and began to cry.

"Rubi?" I asked.

She sniffles a little and wipes her tears from her eyes before looking at me.

"Thorin, I..." She struggled to say. "I'm so sorry."

Oh God. Was she about to reject me?!

"For what?" I dared to ask as I felt knots in my stomach.

It took her a moment to get her herself before crying a little more then clasping her hands over her mouth before saying anything.

"I have a confession to make to you." She started. "I wasn't helping family back east. I was uhm...I was with somebody. Somebody I have known for a few months. I met him before you and I met and I tried to stay away and break it off but I can't." She confesses while struggling to look at me.

It took me a moment to process everything she just said while my blood began to boil at the same time.

"Who is it?" I asked through clenched teeth.

"You don't know him. And I don't want you to." She states with some fear in her voice. "I'm so sorry Thorin."

Both my wolf and I were furious. This fucking bitch!

I try and calm myself so that I don't make a scene before I take out some money to put into the table then get up and look at her.

"Get up." I tell firmly tell her.

She looks terrified as she begins shaking in fear while standing up and we walk outside. I next have her get into the car and eventually, take her to her parents house.

"Thorin, please..." She starts to speak again but I stop her.

"Get out of the fucking car." I tell her.

She tears up some more while reaching for the door handle and turns to look at me once more to say something else but I continue looking out my window with a fist up to my face until she finally gets out.

Fuck this! Fuck love! Fuck my life!

Next chapter will be posted soon! :)