LEGEND OF ZANAR: CHRONICLES IF JARREN

CHAPTER 9 Growing Up

The stag looked at Helena different now. She was his equal in every way. After the day at the waterfall, he discovered she was a roe. For centuries he thought the legend of a female stag was just that, a legend. Now she stood before him in a form of a woman. How magnificent she'd look in her true from. He'll never see her as the roe. This was his last lifetime as a man or stag. Since Helena was a roe, he had found his true match. They' live a long time together, and someday they might be able to return to their former selves. The stag would have to bring her husband back from the dead to do it or kill Helena. Neither option appealed to him now that he'd found his soul mate. To kill her to return to his true form would kill his soul. He understood what Kentar meant when he said this was his last lifetime. The forest would create a new stag to replace him. It was the flow of the forest. When it was destroyed, the forest would rebuild. The flow of nature was eternally renewed. As the days passed, the stag stayed closer to home. He wasn't exactly staying with Helena, lurking in the forest watching her and Thomas. He needed to figure out how to change what she thought of him. Helena had known all along who he was. As well as what he was capable of. Since he'd discovered her secret, deciding to tell her, he knew it was tugging at him. He wanted to bring her closer to him. Figuring out how to woo her after how he'd treated her was becoming a problem. It would take a long time, but he needed to make her happy. He'd been so blind to her beauty. His lust for the female form had kept him blind. If it wasn't for the curse, he might have seen her for who she was. The excitement within him was almost as bad as the curse. His thinking was clouded by thoughts of conquering his fears. He felt like a little boy or at least what he remembered about being a little boy. For the first time in centuries, he felt uncertain about how to proceed. The stag used his charms to acquire what he wanted. His charms hadn't worked on Helena. He thought the birth of her son kept him from charming her. Since she was a roe, his charms had never worked on her. She had only played along to get what she wanted. He was at a crossroads leading him toward his dreams. What he'd searched for was in front of him, and now his desire was replaced with fear. As he watched Helena from the forest, she amazed him. She was so graceful and strong. Helena chased Thomas around the waterfall. She chased him, jumping over fallen trees and bushes, making each jump look like a small pebble in the road. Moving effortlessly with every leap. She ran out in front of Thomas and chased him back in the other direction. They were laughing the entire time. Each time Helena got in front of Thomas, he laughed the most. After a while, Thomas collapsed on the ground, trying to catch his breath. They'd been running around for thirty minutes or more. Helena didn't look tired at all, but she could see that Thomas was getting tired. "Thomas, let's sit down and rest," she said. Thomas protested at first. "Mom, I'm not tired. I want to play." He pouted. Helena laid a blanket on the ground in the sun. "I'm going to rest. You can continue to play, but there's no one to chase you," she said. Thomas gave in and laid down on the blanket. As soon as he laid down, he fell asleep. She sat down next to Thomas, stroking his hair. He was very tired from running around. It was now late morning and time for lunch. Helena would have to wait for Thomas to wake up before they could have lunch. The stag watched them rest and then went on with his day. He had a few things to do before he settled down with his mate. His days of charming villagers were over. He'd soon lose his ability to charm them. He might lose his charming skills any day now. It could be in days or years. He left and headed for the farmer's house. He'd start there. While the stag was dealing with his new world, Kentar had discovered chaos in his own. Zanar had been unresponsive for months now, and he was worried about her. Lisa was asking about her mother. Kentar was under so much stress it was tearing him apart. The gods were concerned about Zanar too. She controlled the weather. Every day she slept the weather didn't change as needed. Soon they'd need to gather and determine if another god should take over control of the weather. What should be the happiest time in Kentar's life was now clouded with tragedy. His daughter left to be mothered by Tarina. She cared for Lisa well. All the while, she was due to have her own child. Her love and affection for Lisa were beginning to lessen as she awaited her own child. Kentar only knew how to be a father. Although he was new to being a father, he had no idea how to be a mother. Zanar's illness confused him. If it was a wound, he could repair it. Since it was in her mind, he had no idea how to approach her. Their physician told Kentar only time could heal her mind. How much time would it take for her to return from within her mind? Since Zanar's descent into madness, Lisa had wanted her mother more each day. Tarina was pregnant and spending less time with Lisa. She needed her mother more since there was no mother in her life right now. Kentar was doing his best to keep her entertained. He was no replacement for her mother. As Lisa got older, her needs grew stronger for her mother. There was something about a mother's love for her daughter. A relationship between mother and daughter was special. Something grew within a daughter only a mother could nurture. As they spent time together, Lisa would learn now to be a mother. The less time she spent with her mother, she was losing valuable time to learn. Kentar had no idea what to do, as Lisa asked for her mother every day. She was losing interest in the forest and becoming withdrawn. If Zanar didn't wake up soon, Kentar might lose Lisa to depression alone. He needed Zanar to come alive, but how? Her mind was closed to the world and herself. What could have taken her down this path? He knew she was depressed over the loss of Lisa. Her body and mind didn't heal after the birth. Kentar decided to talk to Zanar. It was more like talking at her. "Zanar, my love. Lisa needs you. She asks for you every day. I don't have the heart to bring her to you while you're like this. I'm afraid she won't understand why you don't talk back." He sighed deeply. He looked across the room out the window. The sun was setting, turning the sky orange. "If only you can see the sunset. It's beautiful. It looks like the sunset on the night I asked you to marry me. What a beautiful night that was. Your hair flowed in the breeze, rubbing against my arms as we walked into the garden. I need you, Zanar!" he said as he put his head in his hands, looking at the floor. "I can see the sunset," she said. Kentar jumped out of his chair. "Zanar, you are there! Have you come back to me?" he shouted. "Darling, I need to sleep. I feel better, but I'm really tired. In the morning I will return," she said as she closed her eyes. Kentar started to cry. It'd been months since she spoke a word. Without warning, she came alive and then slept again. He wanted to believe she was alive and vibrant. He had waited so long to see her again. When she was herself, he took it for granted. He spent less time with her when she was awake. Since she'd been asleep, he realized what she meant to him. "When you wake, my love, I will kindle the flames of our love. Ignite our passion's embers," he said as he kissed her forehead. He left her chamber and headed to Lisa's room. As Kentar walked the hall toward Lisa's room, he could her crying. The somber tears were coming from Tarina's chamber. The gods were going mad. The desire for a child came with more than happiness. The raging hormones and body aches left the mother tired. They'd been referred to as the happiest pains a mother would ever experience. He headed to Lisa's room. He wanted to watch her sleep. In the morning she'd be really happy to see her mother. She had missed her. Hopefully, Zanar would be back to normal and be happy to see Lisa. She was finally old enough to notice that Zanar didn't want to be with her. She wouldn't understand why she didn't want to be with her. The stag had been at the farmer's house for a few hours. The sun was setting, and he needed to leave before the farmer returned. "Sleep, I will return to you later," he said as she fell asleep. He'd finally given her what she'd waited for. Years before she asked him for the love of her life. He told her if she married the farmer, she would find it. He knew then that the love of her life was and is herself. She couldn't love anyone more than she loved herself, but a child would be able to love her the way she loved herself. The farmer would want nothing to do with a beautiful woman. To him, a beautiful woman wouldn't want to do hard work. She believed the stag and had her father make arrangements with the farmer. Within months they were married. She believed the stag was giving her the love of her life. The stag returned to her one last time to give her a son. The farmer would never be the love of her life. So a child would love her the way the farmer couldn't. The stag was repairing the chaos he created. He needed to end his past in order to begin his future. The stag needed to visit the midwife, the stableman, the pig farmer, and then he could start to woo Helena. His new life with Helena would begin. He was on the way to the midwife. The stag took her purity from her. There was no way to return her purity to her, but he could make her forget it was gone. On the way to the midwife, he'd stop by the farmer he gave the pig to. He needed to return it to the pig farmer. The stag's mission was simple. Since the merchant's wife ran off, she married the farmer he gave the pig to. Bringing him more wealth than he had ever seen in his lifetime. As the stag set right all the changes he made, it would return the kingdom's balance. Since the farmer's wealth had been restored, he no longer needed the pig. Until now, the stag didn't care about what happened to the people he received favors from. It had never been a part of his design. He had always been about take, take, take. In order to win the love he'd found, he needed to give it all back. As he headed to the farmer's house, thoughts of Helena ran through his head. In the last few weeks, he'd been able to see her as the glorious roe she was, having thoughts of their future together. The stag told the farmer he would be back one day for the pig. So his arrival was met with welcome. It'd been over five years since he left the pig in his care. "I'm glad to see you. I knew you would return, but I figured it would be soon than now. Since you left me the pig, I've had nothing but good fortune," he said as he pointed to a woman at his right. "I would like to introduce you to my wife and our two children. This is Molly and Timmy and my wife, Jennifer. Shortly after you left me to care for the pig, I saved her from robbers, and we were married. So everything you've promised me has happened, just not in the order you had told me," he said to the stag. He was overwhelmed. No one had ever been so kind to him since he became the stag many centuries ago. It made him happy to see how happy the farmer had become. All he had ever asked for was happiness. The one thing the stag couldn't grant him. The farmer never asked the stag for a thing. He helped the stag and then nothing else. The stag had originally punished him for not being greedy. Then when he needed him, he used him again, causing him more pain. In the end, he gave the farmer what he had asked for all those years before. Throughout the entire time, he asked for nothing else but happiness, and he got it. The stag couldn't have asked for anything more than what happened to the farmer. He did nothing, and he got what he wanted, showing the stag a new way to live. They said their goodbyes, and he headed to the pig farmer's house. It was barely midafternoon and already he'd accomplished half of what he set out to do. There was no time to change everything he'd done, but at least he could change what he'd done in this kingdom. His thoughts sent him thinking about his son and the prince. There was no way he could switch the children back. If he told Helena about the children, she'd be devastated. He had a lot to think about as he headed to the pig farmer's house. His farm was just over the hill. So he would be there in no time. As he started down the hill, he could see the farmer digging in his field. The digging wasn't the odd part. It was where he was digging that was the odd part. "Farmer, what are you digging?" he asked as he approached. The farmer didn't look up. "I'm planting seed. I'm a farmer, that's what we do." "I thought you were a pig farmer?" the stag asked. The farmer was silent for a moment. "I would have to have pigs to be a pig farmer," he said as he looked up. When he looked up, he started to cry. "You said to plant the seed when my need was great. Have you come to help?" he asked. "I've brought you your pig and many more," he replied. The farmer looked at him, not sure what to say. "How did you know I was planting the seed?" he asked. "You have learned what you needed to. I've returned to reward you," the stag said. The farmer got up to face the stag. "What did I need to learn?" he asked very angrily. This was the first time anyone had questioned him. "You had everything and yet didn't cherish it. You learned despair when your son was dying. If you had cherished what you possessed, you wouldn't have needed a lesson," he said. The pig farmer was angry. He met the stag when his son was trapped on a ledge of a cliff. He had fallen and hurt his leg. He couldn't climb back up, and his father didn't have a rope to help him back up. They were miles from home, and by the time he returned with help, it would be dark. The farmer didn't want to leave his boy on the cliff. What the farmer didn't know was that to the left of his son was a safe cave he could have waited in. They would have discovered the cave, but the stag appeared out of nowhere and offered his help for a favor. The favor had cost the farmer almost everything. Now the stag had shown up with his pig and her piglets, telling him he needed to learn a lesson. There wasn't much else to the story. The farmer wanted to attack him and just start hitting him until the anger went away. He knew of no reason why he shouldn't do just that. Except for what he'd told his own children about violence. Thoughts of his children seeing him attack the stag were keeping him from attacking. "Did I learn my lesson then?" he asked. "I learned from your lesson," the stag said as he turned to go. "Your family is lucky to have you," he said, walking away. The farmer stood in the field, watching him disappear. He didn't understand what he meant but was glad to be rid of him. He gathered the pigs and led them to the barn. He was ready to go on with his life. The stag was on his way to the young midwife's home. She had been under his spell of lust for the last five years. He needed to release her and make her forget at the same time. It would be easy. He needed to tell her it was a dream. He'd used it many times before. She'd been under his charms of lust, and he could remove it. If she'd fallen in love with him, it would be harder. He was not sure he'd be able to handle it. It was a short walk to her home as well. The stag made sure his enchanted were close together. It was easier to manipulate them if they were close to each other. He would be there in no time. As he neared her home, he became nervous. His future happiness depended on this last task. In one day he would undo what took him years to create. When he reached the yard, he could see someone else in the home. He wasn't sure if he should proceed. It had been weeks since he came to visit her. As he approached, the door opened. She came out to get firewood. When she saw him, she closed the door as fast as she could. He expected her to run into his arms. When she didn't, he was puzzled. "What are you doing here?" was all she said. He was shocked. "I came to say goodbye. It was all a dream," he said. She looked at him at that moment. She couldn't believe what she heard. "It wasn't a dream, but it's over. I've gotten married. You left me no choice. I'm pregnant! It's been months since I've seen you," she said and was very angry. The stag thought about it for a moment. Had it been that long? What else could he say? "I have to get dinner ready, so if you don't mind, you should leave. I don't want to see you again!" she demanded. Once again the universe righted itself. He didn't have to do anything. She was placed on her path without him having to fix anything. He turned to leave without saying a word. He was glad it happened the way it did. Now he could rush home to Helena. The stag had a quickness to his stride. He was almost running. He would be home soon and start his life with Helena.