(February 25th,2024)
Sometimes I wish they knew of the pain
The type I carried around at seventeen
And eighteen
Peers talking about what happens after
Meanwhile I'm hiding my wrist
Because the scars have gotten deeper
And walking around in the cold
Drunk as fuck
Stumbling to nowhere
Walking to the school and looking at it
Knowing truthfully I never really stepped foot in it
Countless nights I stared into the empty building
No tears would fall
I wish feeling back then came easier
The ice cold snow banks I constantly laid in
Waited to see if anyone was around to care
But the only one around was me
It was always me
The cold numbness felt so differently at eighteen
From words out of my mothers mouth that cut deeper than chef knives
And every single one of those guys bodies
The way any future was a joke to me
How leaving it behind
I knew I wouldn't be missing anything
And no one would miss me
The sleeping in the woods
Waiting patiently for the sun to come up
Just to go inside a warm building
I wish people knew how deep that pain ran
Every drug
Every drink
Every single class skipped
Every angry outburst they all missed
The anger spread through my bones like disease
Only fast and rapidly
I was literally screaming for help as I tied ropes around my neck
While they just watched and help kick the chair out
While everyone else grew up
YOU ARE READING
Your Struggles is What Creates Your Depth
PoetryA collection of poetry,and random thoughts written when I was struggling to find my way.
