OKAY(NOT).

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(May 11,2022)
Took a drive, hoping it would clear my head
Probably ended up being the most tears I shed
Tried to avoid home so I wouldn't eat or take a substance
Ended up closing my eyes and flooring the gas petal
Hoping just to get hurt enough to where my emotions matched on the outside
Turned the music up too high
Just to scream until my lungs were dry
I'm feeling suicidal, just because I want this pain to end
But I literally can't tell a soul about it
And maybe that's what's eating me up inside the most
Is that if I told someone this, they'd lock me up
Even if I told them I should be able to work through this
But maybe I don't have that choice anymore
But it's not like I even have a therapist
They left me too
Now anyone I think to talk to seem too far away
Hopefully, one day a person will look in my eyes and realize finally, that I'm just not okay

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