Conflicted

Chapter 14

2 Corinthians 5:17 KJV: Therefore if any man is in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new.

Savannah was ready to face her fears and visit Mary and John Stuart. She wanted them to have no more power over her life as she continued to leave the past behind. 

"Are you sure about this?" Matthew asked holding her hands as they boarded the plane.

"Yes, I am," Savannah said confidently. Matthew admired how much change had happened to her over the last two months. Savannah was committed to her relationship with God. 

"I am here if you need a shoulder. If anything goes wrong we are out of there," he said.

"Thank you for coming with me," she said, leaning on his shoulders. 

"Where else would I be? When the woman I love is making strides toward her new self, I am happy to be right there by her side," he said holding her hand.

Savannah smiled, She had to get used to Matthew confessing his love to her and finding herself again.

"I love you too, Matthew," she said softly as she closed her eyes. She was unsure what would happen but this was where it all began. Her mother's death and the three years of abuse changed everything. She was about to change it again in her favor. 

When they arrived back in town Savannah felt her stomach churn and flashbacks of memories she had buried for a long time. As they headed to the hotel, Savannah remained quiet wondering what she was thinking when she made this trip. Was she doing the right thing? 

Matthew slipped his hand in hers and said, "Are you okay?"

Savannah admitted, "In my head and heart this all felt like it is what God wanted me to do. Now being here has brought back so many memories I wanted to forget."

"It's okay to have these feelings. When you made the decision you said the need to do it just would not go away. That is why you are here because you need complete healing from your past as drastic as this may seem," Matthew said.

"I know. I just need to get it together," she admitted.

"I am right here by your side every step of the way," he smiled kissing her on the forehead. 

They traveled in silence to the hotel as Savannah prayed in her heart. They each settled in their room getting ready to make their journey. Matthew ordered some food as they both settled in their separate beds. 

"Thank you for coming with me," Savannah said with a big smile.

"My pleasure," Matthew said just as desperate for closure too so they could move on with their lives. He was happy to be there because when they returned he had made plans for them to move forward with their relationship.

After they ate they covered their day with prayer and Savannah lay down only a few seconds and fell asleep. Matthew realized she must have been exhausted. 

He stared at her for the longest and covered her with a blanket. Matthew never realized he could love someone so much. Every day she amazed him with something new. Her stamina and willpower to draw closer to God made him appreciate her more. Seeing where she came from to this very moment was inspiring.

He gently ran his fingers on her nose, cheeks, and lips. He loved her and hoped she would accept his proposal. Savannah stretched prompting him to move his fingers. 

"What are you doing? " Savannah giggled catching him touching her face.

"Just checking you out," he grinned. They both laughed as their eyes lingered on each other lovingly. Savannah walked over to him and kissed him gently on the lips. 

"It's fine. I am always checking you out," she laughed. Matthew kissed her back softly. Sometimes he had to pinch himself to remember this was all real. Savannah was in love with him and only committed to him. He was happy about their love and words were not enough to express how grateful he was.

"Let's do this. It's time for me to complete the assignment God has given me," Savannah said getting her bag. Despite feeling nervous she wanted desperately yo close this chapter in her life.