Conflicted

Chapter 10

Romans 3:23  For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;

1 John 1:9 KJV: If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Both Matthew and Alisha did not hear from Savannah for days. They started to get worried and even put in a missing report.  After three days, she called Matthew and invited him over to her place after reassuring  Alisha she was okay.

Of course, he frantically went over to see if she was okay. Matthew was shocked to see her provocatively in red lingerie inviting him inside.

"Savannah, what are you doing? This is not you," he said. 

"Shut up and come here and kiss me," she demanded. She walked over and ran her fingers seductively over his arms.  She pushed him down on her couch and tried to seduce him.

"I know you want me," She said attempting to kiss him. "Savannah stop this. I don't want you like this," Matthew pointed out. 

"Why? Every other man wants a piece of me. Remember I am a slut so you should get your fill too," she laughed taking a drink.

"You are drunk and hurting. I will not sleep with you. Savannah you don't need to go through this hurt alone. You have Alisha. You have me but most of all you have the Lord who sees beyond all your flaws," Matthew said trying to get some sense in her head.

"Don't pretend you know me. I sleep with men for fun. Is this the type of woman you want? I am used and messed up. Why do you care so much when you can do better?" she started to cry.

"I care because I love you Savannah O'Brien flaws and all. You are a beautiful, strong, resilient woman who survives the pitfalls of life. You are a fighter. You are funny, creative, and unique. You have the cutest smile and brightest smile I have ever seen. You are the woman I love and I see nothing else. But you have to see these things for yourself and love you," he said looking into her eyes.

"I want the woman God has called you to be not this version that hates herself and does not see the value within. When we come together the right way you would need anyone or anything else. I want a future with you Savannah, a life," Matthew said hugging her.

Savannah flinched out of his hands. "Baby, you can't turn a whore into a wife. If you are not going to fulfill me I can find dozens of men who would run to my bed," she indicated wanting to hurt him and push him to walk away because she felt she was not good enough for him.

"Savannah, you don't mean that," Matthew said as tears filled his eyes. It took a lot for Savannah not to break in front of him but she stayed strong. Of course, she had fallen in love with him but she did not want him to know that.

"Leave, Matthew," she demanded calling someone on the phone in front of him. "You don't mean that," he begged trying to get her to reason.

Savannah escorted him out and called the last person she vowed never to sleep with, Peter.

"Savannah, what did you do?" Alisha said when she came over and met her friend in tears. 

"I hurt the man who loves me and invited over the perve Peter," she said pacing the room. Alisha held her mouth in shock.

"Savannah, please tell me you did not sleep with him?" Alisha said. 

"No, I didn't. I kicked him out and called his wife. I am sure  Peter will not bother me again after last night," she admitted.

"And Matthew? Did you push him away?' Alisha asked.

"I think I did," Savannah admitted, Alisha hugged her friend desperately. 

"Oh Savannah, you have to work on yourself," Alisha demanded. 

"There is no need for excuses. God has blessed you with people who love you but honey you have to love yourself," Alisha said strongly.

"I know," Savannah said holding her hands.

"Let's Pray," Savannah said surprising Alisha who cried. She had never seen her friend in years request the power of prayer.