𝓦𝓱𝓸 𝓐𝓻𝓮 𝓨𝓸𝓾? - 𝓡𝓮𝓷𝓱𝔂𝓾𝓬𝓴

八 (Eight)

Ms. Huang insisted on eating breakfast in the living room, so Renjun and Haechan ate together at the dining table. A tense silence filled the room.

"Renjunnie." said Haechan finally. "Do you want to come to my house? If your mother doesn't mind, of course."

Renjun looked up, surprised. "Why would you want me to come to your house?"

"Because you're my best friend, silly." chuckled Haechan.

A pang of guilt hit Renjun. Haechan still felt that way about him? Even when he was just making him unhappy?

"I know my mom won't mind. She said she'll go to the company today." said Haechan. "And my siblings are going to school. So we'll have the whole place to ourselves!"

Renjun smiled slightly, unable to resist Haechan's enthusiasm. "Alright." he said. "I'll ask my mom."

"No need." said Haechan. "Eomma! Can Renjunnie come to my house today?"

"Of course." said Ms. Huang, walking into the dining room with her plate. "You know I'll always say yes, sweetheart."

"Well, I might as well check." shrugged Haechan. "I'll walk with him, Eomma. Don't worry."

"I wasn't worried. You take such good care of him." grinned Ms. Huang. "Have fun, boys."

***

Thirty minutes later, Haechan helped Renjun out the door, since the elder's legs were a bit shaky, and wrapped an arm around him for support.

"My house isn't that far." he said. "Do you think you can make it that far?"

Renjun nodded. "You don't have to do all this. It looks weird."

"Who cares? I think everyone knows who you are by now. They've all heard about the boy who survived a seven-year coma." said Haechan. "They know you're not in the best condition. I'm sure people will understand."

"But I didn't survive." whispered Renjun, as they started toward Haechan's house.

"What?" asked Haechan, visibly confused.

"I feel like a part of me - the person I really was - died in that crash. I've become an entirely different person." said Renjun. "I don't remember anyone, I can't do anything... Haechannie, why do you stay with me? Why don't you leave me?"

Haechan's heart broke. "I'll never even think of leaving you, Renjunnie." he said. "You're the only thing that matters to me. I'll always love you the way you are, memory or no memory."

"But everything we had... I just let it go to waste! You say it's fine, but it's not! I'm such a bastard!"

His voice cracked with the last sentence. Haechan stopped in his tracks and grabbed Renjun's shoulders, looking directly into his eyes.

"You're not a bastard." he said gently, wiping Renjun's tears with his thumb. "It's not your fault, Renjunnie. It's not you I'm mad at."

"Who are you mad at, then?"

"The world." said Haechan truthfully. "For seven years, I watched you slowly slip away. I knew, deep down, that no matter what happened, neither of us would ever be the same. I hated the world for trying to take you from me. I was trying my hardest not to lose hope, but it was so hard, seeing you just lying there, far from waking up.

"Then when you woke up and I saw what the crash had done to you, I was furious with the world. But I tried to hide it, because I want you to be able to depend on me. I tried my best to be strong for you, so you can be happy."

"But I'm not happy." whispered Renjun. "I'm so far from happy, Haechannie. I want to be my old self again, and if I can't have that, I want to die."

Haechan wrapped his arms around Renjun. "I'm so, so sorry, Renjunnie."

"Why are you sorry?" asked Renjun.

"I never knew you felt like this... if I would've known..."

"It's not your fault." said Renjun, hugging back as tightly as he could. "You've kept me as happy as possible. There's not much either of us can do."

Haechan was crying as well by now. "But I want you to be happier, Renjun. I'm not saying I'll try to force you to smile all the time, but I want you to be able to smile sometimes. You deserve happiness, Renjunnie. And I'm so sorry this happened to you."

They stayed like that for a moment, Renjun crying into Haechan's shoulder, Haechan's head on top of Renjun's. Luckily, no one noticed.

Finally, Haechan broke away, rubbing Renjun's back. "Let's go to my house. It'll be weird if we just stand here all day."

***

Renjun's jaw dropped when they arrived at Haechan's house. The thing looked more like a castle than a house!

Haechan giggled. "Like it?"

"You live here? I knew you were rich, but damn..."

"Well, my parents own a successful company." said Haechan. "They're never not dealing with work. Of course, there's nothing wrong with your house." he added, trying his best to not make Renjun feel bad about himself.

He helped Renjun take off the green coat he had worn - it wasn't terribly cold, but given Renjun's condition, he was often cold - and held his hand as they walked into the living room. Renjun didn't mind; as much as he hated being so helpless, his hand seemed to fit perfectly in Haechan's.

"Is there anything you want to do?" asked Haechan, plopping down on the couch.

Renjun followed suit. "I don't know. Well, actually..."

"Hm?" hummed Haechan, looking over at Renjun.

The elder sighed, twisting his long, two-toned locks around his finger. "Do you know how to cut hair?"

***

"It's not the best, but it's the most I can do." said Haechan an hour later, turning the swiveling chair Renjun was in to face the mirror. "How is it?"

"I love it!" said Renjun, grinning as he felt around the tips of his new mullet. "But now my neck's cold..."

Haechan chuckled and lifted Renjun's hood. "That better?"

"Yeah." said Renjun, before the hood fell over his eyes.

Haechan giggled and fixed it. "You look so cute."

Renjun blushed. "Stop it... were you always like this?"

Haechan hesitated. He had been affectionate before, but it was nothing compared to now. A desire to protect him, maybe?

"Yeah." he said finally. "You look exhausted, by the way."

"Is it that obvious?" asked Renjun, looking at himself in the mirror. He had large, dark bags under his red eyes.

"You should get some rest." said Haechan. "I'll make you something to eat, in the meantime."

"Alright." sighed Renjun, knowing how stubborn Haechan could be. "Help me up."

Haechan smiled and grabbed Renjun's hands, pulling him to his feet. "I'll just bring you to the living room, so you're not too far if you need something. Is that okay?"

Renjun nodded. Haechan supported him through the hall into the living room, laying him down on the couch.

"Haechannie..." mumbled Renjun tiredly. "Thank you so much for everything you've done for me. I really don't deserve it."

"You deserve everything good in life, Renjunnie." said Haechan, patting Renjun on the head. "Just yell if you need anything, alright?"