I Used To Be Alright

Chapter 22

Yeji

Yeji didn't know how she got through the exams without dying, literally, due to the lack of sleep.

Because she couldn't get herself to focus, she spent double the amount of effort in studying for the exams. The subjects which used to be a piece of cake for her took so much of her time and so she sacrificed a few days of sleep for the ones that are actually hard.

Despite having their own subjects to worry about, her best friends made it a habit to check on her multiple times a day to make sure she's still breathing.

When the week finished, the three of them shared the same amount of exhaustion and relief. They were sprawled comfortably on Yeji's bed – ready to fall asleep anytime.

"Do you guys have other plans for winter break? Or just the same as usual?" Yuna asked sleepily.

"Same." The other girls answered in unison.

It would be a month of break, and Yeji should be happy that she would finally be eating her Mom's cooking again; no exams to think about nor there will be projects to spend most of her time on. But all she could think was how time seemed to pass by quicker than normal.

She hasn't seen or heard from Ryujin in a month. And although she has been deliberately avoiding the places she thinks the brunette would be in, it still hurts her a little that she hasn't tried to reach out, at all. Not even a single drunken call asking to be picked up in a random bar.

I guess she has someone to go enjoy those places with now.

She drifted to sleep thinking about how she read everything wrong.

Winter break went by in a flash.

The next thing Yeji knew, she was boarding the train back to Seoul – all sleepy and so not ready to be alone in her dorm again.

"When have I not been okay with being alone?" She whispered to herself as she settled on the far end of the locomotive.

For the past month, she has done nothing but to bug her Mom around. Cooking? Let me help out. Need to buy something somewhere? I'll drive you. Oh, an urgent work errand? Let me come. I'll behave, I promise.

By the 2nd week of the break, her Mom started to notice.

"What's up with you Yeji-ah?" Her Mom asked one morning during breakfast.

"Huh?" She feigned innocence.

"Me? I woke up late – was reading something interesting last night."

She went back to pretending to eat her sausages.

Her mom looked at her sheepishly but Yeji kept her eyes down.

"Hmmm. Anything interesting happening at school recently? New clubs you want to get into?"

She contemplated – she knew what her Mom was trying to do. And she's convinced that she will not be getting herself out of this one once she starts.

After a series of questioning, the older woman decided to drop the bomb and looked straight into her daughter's eyes.

"How about that Ryujin girl that you were hanging out with? How is she?"

There it is.

"She's fine." Yeji tried to casually say in between forced bites.

"Just... fine?"

"I haven't hung out with her recently. We're both a little busy with our own programs and all."

"Well it's not too busy after the break, right?"

Yeji just nodded, unsure of where the conversation would go.

"Great! I'll be in Seoul in a month for that conference I was telling you about. Invite her to dinner, I'd like us to catch up."

The younger girl almost choked in her eggs.

"C-catch up? Why? Eomma, you have met once. In passing. What is there to catch up on?" She answered defensively.

"Well... Hang-out, then? Is that what you call it these days? Hang out."

"W-why? She's extra busy these days. I doubt that she'll ever go."

"Well... I already asked her. I'm just waiting for her response."

Yeji stood up – eyes almost bulging out of her head.

"What do you mean you asked her, Eomma?"

"I asked her on Facebook. We're friends now, too, you know."

It took everything in Yeji not to slap her forehead because of what she discovered. Since when did Ryujin and her Mom become mutuals on Facebook?

Have they been communicating without my knowledge?

Wh-What is happening.

"Calm down, Yeji-ah. What are you so worked up about?"

She sat back down and took a deep breath. Right. I need to stay calm.

"She might be busy, and I don't really want to bother her, Eomma."

Her Mom eyed her suspiciously.

"Then she can say no. And we'll understand. Or is there something else that you'd want to tell me?"

"Nope. Let's wait for her response, then."

Yeji said through gritted teeth. She took a huge gulp of water and made an excuse to go back to bed.

Flash forward to several weeks later and she found herself sighing with relief while settling on the train – but also questioning herself why she's feeling bummed that the tiny flutter of hope was finally killed by the lack of response from the brunette. Her Mom didn't make a big deal out of it and she should do the same.

She closed her eyes and spent the rest of the train ride asleep.