Deep Water | Neteyam

20.

sleeping at last - saturn

--

They all just sat in silence now. All cuffed to the reeling. All in their own heads. It's when Khalo noticed that more and more Avatar and humans gathered around them. Quarritch too. It worried Khalo.

He looked at Kiri. Kiri looked back at him. They both knew this could mean no good. It couldn't mean that someone was here to save them; if it had been that case, only a few would be with them, not so many.

"What's happening?" Tuk whispered into Kiri's ear.

"Stay close to me, Tuk. Just stay close to me." Kiri whispered back, wishing she could hold Tuk.

And suddenly, Khalo felt like something was missing. Like a part of him was missing, and immediately he feared. He felt similar when his mothers Tulkun died, this time it was just so much worse.

He feared his Tulkun died. His Fa'ye.

-

Jake grabbed Neteyam's head to support it, because he knew Neteyam wasn't strong enough to hold it himself right now. Like he wasn't strong enough when he was just a newborn baby. His newborn baby. His baby son. His and Neytiris little baby son.

Lo'ak helped, together with Tsireya and Spider, carry the rest of his body over the rocks and finally lay him down on them. Jake slowly let go of his head, taking place at his right with a spider.
Lo'ak and Tsireya were on his left.

"It's okay, bro. We've got you." Lo'ak assured him. Lo'ak was more assuring himself. Lo'ak said it to Neteyam, but it was meant for himself. He knew Neteyam knew better than him. Neteyam always knew better than him, so he had to know better than him right now. He must. Lo'ak didn't have to explain it to him.
He only said it to Neteyam because he wanted to say something to him. Anything. He just wanted to call him bro. He just wanted to have a conversation with him, because Lo'ak knew he gave so little of his time to Neteyam. Because he knew that his last five proper conversations with Neteyam were fights.

Jake turned Neteyam around. Lo'ak couldn't see what Jake was seeing, but from Jake's face, Lo'ak concluded it wasn't good.
And Lo'ak felt so helpless. Not knowing how to help his older brother, who helped him so often. Who helped him even if he didn't want his help.
Only being able to watch down at him and watch him look so scared around, like he wasn't able to catch this moment, hearing him struggle to breathe. Something inside Lo'ak broke.

Lo'ak felt like he should know what was going on right now, and deep down he did, but at the same time he didn't.

It confused him. He felt so helpless at this moment, and his helplessness came with guilt, because why should he be allowed to feel guilt if Neteyam was right next to him, being so helpless, he couldn't even really breathe.

so he was glad his father took his hands and told him what to do. Now he wasn't helpless.

"Put pressure. Put pressure on it!" He ordered as he grabbed Lo'ak's hand and putted it on Neteyam's wound.

Neteyam

Neteyam struggled to breathe; it was not hard to notice.

Neteyam felt hurt.

Neteyam felt pain.

Neteyam felt like feeling everything.

And Neteyam mostly felt fear and panic fill his mind and body.

He had never felt like this before.

He felt like slipping. Slipping away from his father, from his brother, from Tsireya and from Spider. He felt like he was being slowly dragged away, by someone or something. Dragged away from his body.