Never Alone || Fourtris

Chapter 26

"Tonight, around six, meet us by the groves," he says. 

"Okay," I say. "What do I bring?"

"Yourself," he says and walks away into the mystery night holds. 

The alarming sound of my buzzing phone startles me. Christina's name appears and I shut off my phone. I'm still upset about that night and I don't know how long i'll be upset with her. Im not mad, but I'm not happy either. Im not sad, but I'm not conscious either. I feel blind, something is blocking me from reality and its burning me alive. Im dying, and slowly. 

The end of the alley waits for me as I walk through it, being cautious with the rats running around and holding me nose that emerges from the trashcans filled with who knows what. The street light shines bright on my face allowing a view of the vapor flowing out of my mouth with each exhale. 

I hold onto myself, trying to get whatever warmth I can. My house is around the corner of the alley way I just encountered. I hear bottles being rattled behind me and I quickly turn around startled. No one is there and a pang of fear strikes me. Cautiously I turn around waiting for something to jump at me at any given moment, but instead I'm confronted with a small Christina. 

"Are you following me?," I ask her. 

"Tris, I had to. I wanted to apologize, what I did was shitty and I want to talk to you about it. But first, where are you going with these people," she says. 

"Its none of your business. Christina, go home before you get sick," I say as calmly as possible. 

"They're going to hurt you,"  she says.

"I've been hurt my whole life, even by the ones I though cared for me, I can handle myself," I say. 

She stays silent and turn around, before I do something I would never forgive myself for. Her strong footsteps can be heard from a mile away. I close my eyes, keeping myself from turning around. Even though she hurt me and almost got me arrested, I still forgive her and I love her and I miss her. She's the only person that understands, but half of my is pushing away from her and it needs to stop. 

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Six o'clock, six o'clock, six o'clock. Just a few more minutes until six o'clock. Natalie and Andrew went out on a date night. I feel ashamed of myself for betraying them like this, but I need to get away from everything. My phone buzzes and its Tobias. I debate whether or not to answer his call. I open my phone and answer, making out a small hello.

"Tris..," he says calmly. "Whats going on with you lately."

"Nothing..just a bit overwhelmed with the situation going on with Caleb." Which is true, the other reason why I need to leave. 

"Tris if you ne-."

"Hey I have to go, i'll call you back later okay?," I say with a pang that hits me in the heart. 

I hang up before I regret anything. The clock read six o'clock and by that time I'm rushing out the door with my beanie hanging low. 

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The cold air makes my lips feel numb, but my body says otherwise for it took all the energy it had and ran nonstop. I wait by the groves catching by breath as I see a car pull up. I step back startled and the windows roll down showing the guy who told me to join them tonight. He smiles and I slightly return a sheepish smile. 

"You ready," he says. 

I nod and he shrugs his head indicating me to get in the backseat. Once I open the door, a cloud of smoke appears and smacks me in the face. I cough silently and a girl with red-brown curly hair turns to me blowing a smoke of air in my face. I cough again and wait for her to say something. She moves out of the way instead and I get in sitting in between her and a boy who has a beer bottle in his hands. 

"Lets go!," the guy screams. 

More screams from the back of the car and another person in the passengers seat are heard. He drives the car at an incredible speed. He turns back to me and smiles wide. I give him an insecure smile, but he doesn't notice and continues driving deeper into the night of the groves. 

"You smoke," the girl next to me says. 

I shake my head and she puts her free arms around me. 

"Come on, try one," she says trying to shove the cigarette in my mouth. 

I propel her hand away from my face and she turns the other way scoffing. The guy next to me tries offering me a drink, but I refuse and he seems a bit annoyed. The car jolts to a stop, causing the seat belt to hit my chest a bit too hard. Everyone starts getting out of the car, into the scary dark area. There is only one street light that dims not too bright and the chirping of the crickets are the only sounds you hear. Jason, thats his name, leads me out of the car holding me a bit to tight. 

"Look, Jason. I know you're trying to be a good person and comfort me, but you're hurting me and I feel uncomfortable," I say. 

His grip tightens and I can smell his alcoholic breath near my neck. His lips nip at it a bit and I try shoving him off. 

"If thats how you want to play," he says angrily. "Then so be it."

He picks me up and drags me towards the dark. I shove my heels into the ground as I tell him to let go of me. He throws me into the dirt and bolts as fast as he can towards the car, everyone else piling in. My face goes numb after I realize it's been it with something hard. I get up rushingly trying to run for the car who has already fled a mile or more away from me. 

How can I be this stupid! I should no better than to trust people who do these things and I'm in this situation because of my stupid selfish self. I should've forgiven Christina, I should've listened to Tobias, I should've never betrayed Natalie and Andrew, I should've done more for Caleb, but I can't because I'm weak and ignorant to be strong enough for any of it. 

I give up on running and fall to my knees screaming and crying my eyes out. For the first time in a long I admit to myself that I'm terrified. I'm terrified of being alone and isolated by the people that care about me most and I'm provoking it by ignoring them. Im terrified of being here and not with my family, with Natalie and Andrew! With the people who decided to give me a chance. They're more than Natalie and Andrew, their more than names to me, they're my mom and dad.