'Till You Put Me Down (Niall Horan Fanfiction)

Chapter 29: One Or The Other

A/N: Hey guys! Thank you for your patience  the last couple of weeks, i've just been really busy with plans and homework and crap.. I'm glad your still reading this story :) Anyways, If any of you were wondering how Playlist Live was and who we met... Go check out the video I posted on the side!! I posted a video vlog of me and my friend's experience at Playlist Live! :) 

So, I've got a lot of Jarry shippers and a lot of Jiall shippers... Go on lanidxo.tumblr.com and send me an ask telling me who you ship! I want to tally them up and see who's winning!

Recap:

"Do you love me?" Niall said, lifting his head from his hands. His face was filled with caution when the question was asked. I hesitated to answer.

"No.... Not anymore." I said, my hand still on the door knob as I looked over at Niall who now placed his arms on his knees as he fiddled his finders together in the empty space between them. 

"You know, words never really phased me before. I always knew they were powerful though." He said, his eyes glued on his fiddling hands, "Sometimes I wonder why words can't make you bleed...", his eyes darted around his fingers, "... but just now, I've come to realized that they do.. If the right person says the right words at the right time, they can cut deep into your skin, scaring it for life... Then sooner or later, you will fade. You bleed out." His eyes began to fill with tears, but not one fell from his face.

--

"I won't." I said, my face now only a couple of inches away from hers, both my hands gripping her wrists with pressure. 

"Niall..." She said, looking down at her wrists that were covered with my hands. I quickly let go of them, walking a few steps backwards.

"I.. I need some fresh air." I said, walking past her as I opened the door to the Motel Room. She stayed put, not moving a single muscle. I strode to the outside of the Motel, picking a cigarette from my pocket and lighting it in my mouth, taking a couple of drags before holding it in my hand. 

The anger I had inside me was unbearable. The thought of her being with Harry. The thought of me losing her, forever. The thought of me frightening her. 

There was just so much that I needed to figure out, and I needed time.

Chapter 29: One Or The Other

*** Niall's POV ***

I hurt her. 

The thought played through my brain many times. Even though I didn't cause her much physical pain, I still did. I hurt her. I used my strength, the strength that I was given to protect her, to hurt her. The guilt was eating me from my insides, out. 

"Niall..." She said, looking down at her wrists..

The image would not leave my brain. Her hurt expression looking at mine as I let her wrists go. What am I supposed to say when I go back in there? She can't leave. I can't let her leave. She does know too much, but I am also determined to make her mine again. She still loves me. I can sense it when she looks at me. Harry.. He's just a backup. If I were to die right now, he would be her plan B. Even if she doesn't admit it, I know that's what she's thinking. I can see through her. More than she knows. 

I walked back into the motel, my head down and my hands by my sides. I can't go back in there and make it seem like nothing happened two minutes ago. I just.. I have to refrain from touching her for a while. I can't be around her if I'm ever angry or upset. I just lose it sometimes, and who knows what I'll do next time.