When It Rains In Ocala

34- Remember The Risk

Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child.
Listen to the DON'TS.
Listen to the SHOULDN'TS,
the IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS.
Listen to the NEVER HAVES,
then listen close to me-
Anything can happen, child.
ANYTHING can be
- Shel Silverstein

“I’ll see you soon.” I whispered.

Evan gave me a half smile and tugged on my arm, a sign that I’d grown to know that means that he wants to kiss me, but he can’t lean up to do it so I have to bend down. I bent down and put my lips on his for one of the heaviest, deepest kisses that I’d ever given. I kissed him with everything I had in me, with every exhausted fiber of my being, I kissed that boy.

“I hope so, Princess.” Evan whispered shakily. He was afraid, and it was clear to me how afraid he was. I didn’t blame him for being afraid, I was too. I was terrified. This was our last goodbye before he went into his surgery, so we were both freaking out, but I had to be strong for him.

“You will, okay? I’ll be sitting out front with everyone and in a few hours, I’ll see you again and we’ll be ready to go home.” I assured him.

He tugged on my arm again and I bent down, giving him another I-love-you-to-death kiss before reluctantly pulling away. “Goodbye, Mrs. Mathews.” He whispered.

“Goodbye, Evan.” I croaked shakily as I watched the doctors and nurses coming into the room to take him into the surgery. I wanted to fight them off,  beat them up and not let them take him away from me. I didn’t want him to leave, but I knew that they had to or he’d die right there. So I gave him one last lingering kiss and whispered in his ear. “This is only goodbye for a few hours, I’m telling you.”

He gave me a weak smile. “I love you, Princess.”

I smiled back, just as weak, but I still tried. “I love you right back.”

And then one of the nurses kicked me out, so I stood by the door of the room outside and waved a small goodbye as I watched helplessly as they wheeled away my husband for the life or death surgery.

When he was finally out of sight, the only thing I could feel inside of me was empty. I felt so empty without him by my side. I numbly made my way back into the waiting room where Brendon, Jason, and Kyle were sitting. Everyone else had moved on with their lives, I suppose. Well, Evan’s dad had flown back to Ohio for something that was more important than his son’s life, but Emily is staying with Laura until Evan comes home, which is why Laura wasn’t here, she was watching Emily, but she’d be here when Evan gets out of surgery. My dad went back to work a few days ago, and everyone else went to school- I’d already missed three days.

“And now, we wait.” I sighed, sitting down in the chair between Jason and Brendon.

Jason wrapped an arm around me and pulled me close to his side. “I’m sure he’ll be fine.” He mumbled.

I closed my eyes and rested my head on Jason’s shoulder. “I know.” I sighed before standing up. “I’m going to go get something to eat, do you guys want anything?”

“Get me some donuts.” Brendon mumbled tiredly- we were all so exhausted. I think this has been the longest week that any of us had ever endured.

“Donuts sound good.” Jason agreed.

I nodded and looked over to Kyle who stood up as well. “I’ll come with you.”

I nodded again and we both headed to the elevator that I’ve grown familiar with. I haven’t left this hospital in the week that Evan’s been here except twice to shower and I made sure that I was only gone for less than half an hour. So this elevator was like second nature to me now, and so was the food court full of fast food restaurants- I must of gained a bazillion pounds by all the grease I’ve consumed.