Ranking Heathers characters from 'fuck you' to 'please fuck me'
I'll be putting Veronica, JD, The Heathers, The Rapists, and Martha Dumptruck
(FYI, this is all a joke, I am a minor.)
Lez go
8th is Kurt.
He's a rapist. Plain and simple. All I need to say.
Pass
7th is Martha Dump truck
Idk, she gives off homophobic vibes, and she's just ugly asf
Pass
6th is Ram
He ranks lower than Kurt because in Blue, Veronica just waved some booze around and he was immediately distracted, but Kurt wasn't, so I feel like he'd be easier to get away from if things went south.
Pass
And that's when things went South
We had a swordfight in her mouth
Dang diggity dang-a-dang
Freak!
Dang diggity dang-a-dang
Slut!
Dang diggity dang-a-dang
Swordfight in her mouth!
Perfect Segway into the next one which is,
5th, Heather Duke
She gives off massive switch vibes, and her actress in the OG cast Alice Lee is drop dead gorgeous
Ehhhhhh... imma say smash
4th, Heather Macaroni
She gives off the vibe of someone who'd be like, 'oh, im such a cinnamon roll, uwu- LOL SIKE BITCH!' Then fuck you against a wall.
And I kinda love that.
Smash
3rd, Heather Chandler
Jfhchj 😫 HD. KGD hyshfs. In dhc d.😍✨🏳️🌈 g. Jcdrg. SLAM ME AGAINST THE WALLLLLLLLLLLLLL!
lol, hate myself.
I would have put her at number two, but dead girl walking came on whilst I was writing this, soooooo. Yeah.
Oh right, the smash or pass
SMASH. FUCKING SMASH. CALL ME THE HULK COZ IMMA SMASH!
2nd, Someone. Wait, no. A babe. Wait, fuck... lemme think... Veronica?
VERONICA
VERONICAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AND YOU KNOOOOOW
YOU KNOW
YOU KNOOOOOOW
SHE WOULD BE GOOD IN BED
Extra points if you sang all that.
She's hot, and her voiceeeeeeeeeeeeee. Got me drooling.
Smaaaaaaaaash
1st, of course, the king of the emos, JD
God damn. Bro puts the movie JD to shame! The hair, the trench, again, the VOICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
I love him. He's a switch. He's gorgeous.
He is my early 2000s emo lover. The uwu to my rawr XD.
K, I'll shut up.
Smash.
Who is the hottest female and male Broadway characters?
Male, Thomas Jefferson
Female, either Miss Maria Reynolds or Veronicaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. Bonus points if those made you think of the songs.
YOU ARE READING
31 days of Broadway
FanfictionHello my lovelies! So, as you probably guessed, I'm a theatre kid. And I want to share my theatre kid-ness with the world, sooooo, I present to you... 31 days of Broadway! Each chapter is related to Broadway musicals. Feel free to leave requests!
