The Forbidden Love

Light Tears

It was probably the worst weekend I have ever had. I got no chance to talk to him, I felt like I lost a piece of myself, I wanted to reach out to him, but there was nothing that I could have done to get in contact with him, no matter how much I wished, yet I felt sorry and blamed myself for the whole situation, so my guilt was back again, but in a different way. I knew it was going to end at some point, however it was difficult, it was almost shattering me, when I truly realised the meaning of loving someone. Love is the most painful happiness. Yes it was definitely. Every day I had to fight the pain, yet the only one who could erase that pain from my heart was him. Talking, feeling his presence. No matter how far we were I kept him in my heart and closed it.

After the weekend passed by, I couldn't wait to get the chance to talk to the love of my life. He was much more than just a lover. He was a kind of person, who could make the rainiest day as a sunny one, just by saying 'Hi' to me. His appearance had a huge impact on me. He was my weakness. Whenever I think about him, it goes in so many directions. He is just cute. I mean like just not his looks are cute, but his personality too. The things he is saying are cute. His voice is so cute. His smile is so cute. How he talks to me is so cute, I love talking to him. I really really love it. I like how I could just text him in the middle of the night, I love how much I could count on him. Even though he can be really weird sometimes, I still love that. I loved him and only him. Of course I'm not perfect, I will annoy and piss him off, eventually say stupid things then take it all back, but putting all that aside, he could never find a person who cares or loves him more than me. At night times I would always imagine what it would feel like to fall asleep in his arms. It's probably the best feeling in the world. There's no better than being in someone's arm, knowing you are loved and safe. All you feel is happiness, warmth, joy and love. To be honest, I can't put him into words and oh my god..that frustrates me a lot. Because him? Oh my lord, how much I want to write it all down. Who is he, how I feel about him, why I love him, all of it. I just want to find or write one fucking poem that could describe it all, because damn it what I feel for him should be written down in permanent ink, it should have a place of its own somewhere in this freaking universe. A place where the words would never, ever cease to exist, because neither will my love for him.

It was finally Monday, I was excited to finally be able to talk to him, but there was a small issue. One of my ex-friend from school would find my sister and started talking about me and what a liar I was.

'Hii or morning or whatever. I missed you.'

'YOU ARE BACK, OMG!!'

'Of course I am. You are stuck with me whether you like it or not.'

'I was like dying.'

'I had so much free time, I was so bored.'

'I can relate, not going to lie, but I haven't touched my phone, rather slept and cried.'

'How was your weekend?'- he asked.

'Shit, extremely bad.'

'Are you alright?'

'No.'

'Huh, what happened?'

'First I missed you goddamn badly, secondly one of my ex-friend is taking revenge on me.'

He would ask me how and I told him everything in details, but there was nothing I could do against it, it was just hopeless, but I knew if my mom founds out anything I was about to get murdered.