The Forbidden Love

Never Again

The days passed by quickly and I really tried to actually overcome with my last situation. It didn't last long, but left  deep scars in my fragile heart. It was in the morning, I guess around 6 a.m., I woke up from a nightmare, I sat on my bed and was frightened, small tear drops left my eyes. As the time flies I watched the sun rise up and light up the room. I would have laid back, so did I, under my blanket I would hug my pillow to help myself, but I caught myself crying over it again, I shouldn't have done it, it was way too risky, I didn't want anyone to notice it, because I knew if I do too loud, and they catch me crying, they would judge me for being weak, so I remained as silent as it was possible. Hours passed by and I had to eventually get out of bed.

The day was cloudy and rainy, the clouds were grey, it looked bit of humping, just as it was describing my feelings. I would get up and go to eat breakfast, but at the moment, all I wanted was going back to bed and sleep again. I could hardly pick myself up to start my day. I would check my phone over and over again. Nothing happens, he is gone, he is never coming back again. After a while, I got all my strength together and forced myself to eventually get up and start my day. It was somehow really hard but I did it. I would go downstairs and ask my parents what we are going to do today, well that's exactly what I did today. I would get in the car and go to different shops, to get the materials for the process. I found it boring, it's not like I hate doing it, it was just really unnecessary thing in my life, when I knew my heart was heavy. I picked up my phone for the last time to check on my notifications, but again, no change. I would redownload the app to see, if I will have the chance to meet new people, people who will eventually stay with me and won't leave me after I told them how I feel and what kind of situation I was in. I waited for a few hours. As the time passes I needed to get ready for going to the new apartment again and continue working there, painting, fixing a lot of things and renew the kitchen too. It felt an eternity though. I went to listen to some music, when all out of the sudden I got a notification. I hoped for that he would come back still, but he didn't, it was the notification from the app. I got a lot of new request but I only accepted two of them, that I thought would be worth trying again. So I opened snapchat to check if they added me back or not. They indeed did and started talking to me like I have known them for years. The one would use only snaps to talk to me the other one would chat with me like a real person. I'm not sure why, but they would talk to me nonstop. Raheem. Yeah I think that was his name. He would talk to me as if I was his girlfriend and would call me in the cute nicknames, like lovers do. I don't know why, but I felt really uncomfortable around him. Every single day, he would act as if we were together. I don't get it until this day why.

'Good morning bae. It's another day and I get the chance to talk to you, plus see your beautiful face'- he snapped me with that message on.

I tried to ignore the words, that made me feel uncomfortable, so as normally a person would do I said:

'Good morning to you too. Did you get some rest?'

'Yeah I did my love, how about you?'

He acted like this for days, I still felt uncomfortable, I didn't want to fall in love ever again, in addition I wasn't ready for a relationship neither and I didn't even loved him in the first place, so I don't get it. I'm not sure why, but I after my first, I never wanted to feel broken and ripped apart. I was really scared to do. I don't know how long I let it bother me, but he kept on texting me nonstop, if I didn't answer after a second he would call me a lot of times, but actually I never picked it up. I didn't want it. I was thinking about blocking this person. It became more and more uncomfortable and felt really pushing. He said things to me that would sound as I was forced to love or be with him. I felt disgusted. One day, in the morning when I woke up, I took my phone to my hands and checked my notifications, who texted me and all out of the sudden when I opened snapchat, I got a message from that strange guy, who thinks I'm in a relationship with him. He texted me a paragraph and it goes like this: