Pain Of Love (Y/N x Tom Kaulitz)

Who? (35)

Y/N POV:

My heart immediately sunk to my chest as I heard those first 3 words, he was dead.

"He fell into a coma, we're unsure if he'll wake up or not. We're truly trying our best."
My eyes widened in shock as the doctor said that.

"Are you- Are you serious? He's not dead?"
I asked in shock, my brain couldn't process this. I was sure he would be dead by time we reached the hospital!

"No, thankfully. There is a possibility he could pass away in his coma, but there's still the chance he'll wake up before then."
The doctor spoke, stress pumped in my blood. Even though he's alive, there's still the chance he could die at any moment.

"We need to see him, right now."
Bill spoke sternly, I glanced over at him. You could tell how bad he was hurting, just by the look of him. You can tell he's been going through some shit.

The doctor opened the door, as soon as I looked at him, it made me feel sick again. The image of him on that bed, pills scattered all around him just lingered in my mind. It's something I really could never forget, it genuinely traumatised me.

Bill immediately ran up to him, sobbing quietly on his chest. Aleyna tried to comfort him, rubbing his back, telling him it's going to be okay. But who was going to do that for me? It hurts me so bad the last words I said to him were to leave me alone. My heart ached just thinking about that night, how was I supposed to know that night was the last time i'd actually get to talk to him.

"I can't, I just can't see him like this."
Bill choked out before leaving the room with Aleyna. Leaving only me and Tom. I looked at him, his lifeless body. I was still in shock that he's alive, I truly didn't think he'd make it. I held his hand, his cold hand.

"I love you. I didn't mean it when I said leave me alone. I know we can make it work, I was just mad. I'm so sorry."
I spoke to him, a single tear rolled down my cheek but I refused to let another fall.

I just stared at him, I couldn't help but wonder just.. why?

"i'm so sorry, you deserve someone better."
The words he spoke that night, I thought about what he said.

Was it really because of me? Because he thought he wasn't good enough? Did he want my attention by doing this? Or did he genuinely just want to run away from everything? As I thought about it more, the more curious I got.

I glanced over at the grey clock hanging on the wall, 4:50pm. Visiting hours are almost finished.

"I love you, i'll come see you tomorrow."
I placed a small kiss on his cheek before I left the room. I knew he couldn't feel it and I knew he had no idea but I still felt as if he would've wanted it.

I left the hospital, spotting Bill softly sobbing on Aleyna's shoulders. It mind boggles me, I never thought of Bill as an emotional person. I thought of him as more of a strong type, but I guess I was wrong.

"Y/N, how are you so calm?"
Bill managed to make out between his sobs. I gave him a hug, a tight one. I felt his tears roll down my shoulder, onto the back of my clothes.

"Because I have to be strong for everyone else. If we were all a mess, then how would we deal with it all? Do you think I don't wanna sit in my bed and sob until I can't breath anymore?"
I asked him. I only spoke the truth, of course I wanted to sit and cry over it. But I can't.

He stayed silent after I said that, I pulled away from the hug and looked him right in his pretty brown eyes. He really did look just like his brother, without all the makeup.

"It'll be okay, everything will be okay."
I told him, his lip quivered as he hesitated to protest but instead, he just nodded silently.

"Hey um, I was thinking of staying at Bill's tonight. Georg and Gustav don't even know about Tom being here yet since we were in such a rush. Will you be okay?"
Aleyna asked me. I wanted to say no, but I knew Bill needed someone right now.