You and I

CHAPTER 10

MANIK

It was the first time in my life that I had played a game when Dad wasn't there on the stands cheering me on. Our win was the only thing the others were thinking about when it was over, so luckily, no one noticed his absence except Abhi. I'd shrugged it off and told him Dad wasn't feeling well.

I scored two goals, but Dad wasn't there to see them. He hadn't been in his spot cheering me on. He hadn't been at the fence with his big grin when I came running to the sidelines. He hadn't been there because he had a fever and was on so much pain medicine, that he wasn't even lucid.

He hated taking the pain meds - he liked being there mentally with us - but he'd been in so much pain last night, Mom had to force him to take them. Then, when he finally went to sleep, she'd fallen into my arms and sobbed. I had never seen her like that before, breaking down.

Facing today's game had been the last thing that I wanted to do. Knowing I would get to home and tell Dad about it had been the only way I'd been able to play. I wanted to tell him something that would make him smile. Make him happy. I wanted him to believe in me. He and I had shared this passion for so long. I didn't want him to know I was losing this passion. Because without him, I wouldn't care anymore.

Not to mention Mom would need me, when he'd be gone.

I hadn't looked at Soha after the game. I'd gone straight to my car, determined to get the hell away from all of them. All their joy over our win. I couldn't be happy. Dad hadn't been there. Winning didn't mean as much anymore.

Facing Dad when my emotions and feelings were so raw would not be a good idea. But going ot the field party where the team would be celebrating seemed fucking pointless. I couldn't celebrate. I just wanted to forget. I wanted my old life back. I wanted dad healthy.

After driving for almost an hour, lost in the pain that had become a part of me, I found myself on the familiar dirt road that led to the field party. It was either here or home, and I couldn't go home just yet. I needed a few beers, and I needed to forget.

Everyone was already here. The loud shouts and laughter had once been welcome sounds. Now I hated them. None of my friends had worries except winning a football game. They didn't know what fear was. None of them. These were the best fucking years of their lives. Once, they'd been mine too.

I closed my car door and stared at the bonfire through the trees. I would have to walk in there and put on a smile that I didn't feel. I would have to talk about a game I played with everything I had but only because I wanted to be able to tell Dad about it. Not because my heart was in it.

I didn't fit in anymore. With any of them.

But where else would I go?

Drinking would ease the pain some. But nothing would take it all away.

I would pretend. It was what I did best lately.

Heading into the open field, I found a beer and made my way over to my friends. Soha was already there. I could see her over with Harshad. I knew she was mad, and this was her way of getting back at me. I just didn't care.

"Where have you been man? We've been replaying the awesomeness that was Manik tonight, and you weren't even here to glory in it!" Vihaan yelled out to me as I walked over them.

"Had some things to do first," I replied with a grin that hinted I'd been doing someone rather than somethings. I'd let them think what they wanted. Anything but the truth.

Laughter followed my comment.

"Guess that's why Soha moved over to Harshad," Aryaman replied. He'd been pissed at me for a day or two, but after practice on Thursday, we'd both agreed I was right. He had to focus on football, not Abhi's cousin.

I shurgged and took a seat down on the log that Vihaan was sitting on. "Whatever," I replied.

Next to me, Vihaan started talking. "But seriously, Aryaman. You got to quit looking for her. She's okay. She's here, and she's not your business. Abhi will be back in a minute with Riya's drink, and if he thinks you're looking for his cousin, he'll get mad."

I turned my attention to Aryaman. I thought he had backed off that.

Aryaman held up both his hands. "Easy, I was just seeing who was here. Not looking for anyone."

"Bullshit," Vihaan muttered.

"She's here?" I asked, wondering why she came to these parties if she was just going to hide in the corner.

"Abhi said his Mom made him bring her. She doesn't want to come. Abhi feels bad for her," Riya said with a shrug, as if she couldn't care less.

"Pisses me off that he doesn't let her sit with us," Aryaman sounded aggravated.

"Not. Your. Business," was Vihaan's response. I wanted to agree with Vihaan, but Aryaman was right too. Abhi was wrong just bringing her here and leaving her all along. It was cruel.

"Uh-oh, here comes drama," Riya said with a smile, then looked at me.

"Well shi-it," Vihaan drawled as I turned to see Soha walking our way.

Her hair was messy by fooling around with Harshad. What was she heading over here for? I liked her better over there.

"You both confuse the hell out me," Aryaman said. "Today at the pep rally I thought she was going to suck your face off. Now she's sucking someone else's face off."

I grabbed my beer and stood up. I was leaving. I didn't want her shit tonight. I had bigger issues than Soha.

"I'm out," I said.

"You leaving?"

"Already?"

They all seemed surprised. I just nodded and held up my beer. "Good game. Let's own this season," I said, then headed to the woods and my car.

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