You and I

CHAPTER 1

NANDINI

"Welcome home, beta!"

Home. This wasn't home for me. I guess nothing would ever mean home to me. Besides, I don't think I even want a home anymore, the word came with too many painful memories to think about.

I knew Mama and Mami wanted me to be comfortable with them and feel as if I belonged there with them. They are trying so damn hard about it. There's hopefulness in their eyes that maybe this change of place would help me. Maybe that old Nandini would be back. How can she be back? She probably died on that wretched night only.

"Your room is upstairs. I had them painted baby blue, just like how you like them," Mami said. "And I've even kept white lilies on your study table, along with a swing chair on your balcony. Everything the way how you love them to be."

While Mami was speaking, Mama was caressing my hairs lovingly. "Come on now, we need to head upstairs to see if you liked the room or not," Mama said.

I followed both of them upstairs. The room was something that an year old Nandini would have loved. Everything color co-ordinated. Everything fresh. Everything bright. I moved ahead to keep my jar of fireflies on the side table of my bed. This was something that connected me to her. It was our thing to do, collecting fireflies and storing them in these glass jars. I saw Mama Mami's face softening as they took in the jar.

If I wasn't so afraid of my own voice, I would have probably said thank you to both of them for doing so much for me. But as I couldn't do that, I just hugged both of them tightly, hoping they would be able to feel my unsaid thank you for their acceptance and love.

"Well, I certainly hope that you like my room with it being so much modified for you to live in here," a deep voice drawled from the doorway.

"Abhi, stop!" Mama told him in a strict voice.

I only remembered Abhimanyu a little. He used to come along with Mama and Mami to Mangalore for summer vacations when we were all kids. But he never used to play with me. He used to play with one of his friends that he always brought along whenever he used to come there. And after a few years even that stopped. He used to stay here in Mumbai during vacations with his friends while Mama Mami came to Mangalore.

Now he was leaning against the doorway of the bedroom, brown hair falling into his eyes, a smirk on his face. He didn't look too happy. Oh God! Had they forced him to give up on his room? That couldn't be good. I didn't wanna forcibly take his room.

"Abhi is just being a brat," Mami quickly explained. "He's perfectly happy going to the room on the other end. He had been nagging at us from the past 2 years for that shifting in that room. He shifted in that room more than a year ago when his college started, so that he could have some more privacy. Could sneak in and out of the room at ungodly hours without us knowing about it since his room was so far away from ours. Also the balcony of that room is a bit lower than this one, so he wouldn't even need to use the main door. So convenient. Right Mr. Abhimanyu Thakkar?"

"Mom why so serious? I toh was just kidding. You know me na?" Abhimanyu said hurriedly making me smile inwardly. They were cute.

I felt an arm around my shoulder as Mama came standing beside me. "Beta, you remember Nandini," he said in a voice that didn't leave any room for argument.

Abhimanyu was staring at me. He looked annoyed at first, but his expression suddenly softened into something resembling concern. "Yeah, I remember her."

Mama continued, "You guys are in the same college. So you show her around the college on Monday. College officials know about Nandini but still I want you to be there for her if she needs you. She's new to everything here so she will need all the help that she needs from us to get comfortable around here. Is it understood?"

Abhimanyu sighed and muttered, "Crystal," before walking out the room.

I had a feeling that he had been given all these orders before also. It was repeated once again to make me known of them.

"I'm sorry about him," Mami said. "He's been so moody lately, and we don't even need to know what to do about it."

Even if I did speak, I don't have a response for that.

She squeezed my arm. "We're gonna let you get settled. Unpack, relax, take a nap if you want to. If you want company, I'll be there in the kitchen cooking dinner. You can even move around the house anywhere you want to. Make yourself home baccha."

There came that word again : home.

Mama Mami left me alone, finally, and went down the hall. I stood in the pretty blue room and realized that I already felt safe here, which kinda surprised me. I thought that the comfort of safety was a long gone idea for me.

"So you really don't talk?" Abhimanyu's voice filled the room. I spun around to see him standing there at the doorway.

I really didn't want him to dislike me or be annoyed about my being here. But I wasn't sure how would I convince him that I'd keep to myself, I won't bother him or try to change his life.

"Shit, this is not gonna be easy. You're—" He paused and let out a laugh that didn't sound like he meant it. "This is gonna be worse than I thought. Least you could have helped me out and been ugly."

Excuse me.

Abhimanyu frowned. "Just don't draw attention to yourself in college. You don't know the people around but I do. And trust me when I say, I don't want you to be anywhere around my crowd. Mom finally got the daughter she never had, but this doesn't make things easier for me. I have a life, you know."

I simply nodded. I was sure he had a life, as do other people have in college. Not everyone's a social recluse like me. Even I wasn't but then life happened.

I had no intention of being in his way, but I could see how my coming into his home and kinda taking over his room would seem otherwise. And now his parents wanted him to babysit me in college also.

But I'd prove he had nothing to worry about. I quickly went towards my backpack and took out a notepad and a pen that I always kept with me.

"What are you doing?" he asked, clearly confused.

I quickly wrote :

Promise I won't be in your way. Won't expect you to help me at college. Just let your parents think you are and I'll go along with it. You can take the room back if you want, I'll settle in the guest room downstairs.

I handed the notepad to Abhimanyu and let him read it. When he finished, he sighed deeply and handed the pad back to me.

"You can keep the room. Mom was right. I like the other room better. I was just being an ass and giving you shit. Don't think about it. And I will help you in college also. I'll be there if you need me. Also, you're family and my family calls me Abhi."

He smiled and went downstairs.

He said that he'll be there but no, I'll try not to bother him. Him and his family, they are all being super sweet and nice to me. I don't wanna become a burden on them.

I laid down on the bed thinking about the changes that happened in my life and I don't know when I drifted off to sleep. 

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