Sophomore Diaries: Diary of an Ugly Girl, Diary of a Once Popular Boy

13

Obviously, I took it up with Bonito.
"Why? What do you gain by doing this?!" I asked, enraged.
"Doing what?," he seemed genuinely discombobulated but I was sure it was all an act.
I showed him the video, "If you're dating her, then why am I here?"
"I've told you. I'm not dating her. I wasn't even around when the video was shot. I told you she's friendly with Teddy." He tried to explain.
Was he telling the truth? I asked myself.
But at that moment, I remembered all the shocked expressions I got from onlookers whenever we were together in public. Bonito and I weren't meant to be together. My insecurity would always get the better of me and maybe, one day, he'd wake up and ask himself what he was doing with someone like me. Suddenly, I wasn't in the mood for a movie. I just wanted to go to my room and curl up in a ball. I turned to leave. He caught my hand.
"Fea, where are you going? Why are you leaving? I thought I-"
"Sorry, Bonito. I don't think I want to watch a movie again."
"I'll call you." He said.
"Don't. I'll be asleep." I pulled the hood of my hoodie up and left, desolete.
I trudged to my hostel thinking about how unfair life was for people who were perceived to be 'unattractive'. Unattractive by whose standard? Who the hell came up with the criteria used for deeming people aesthetically pleasing by the way?
My thoughts were interrupted by two girls arguing loudly. One was Bella and the other was no one I knew. I doubted she was even a student.
"If I see you near him again, I'll kill you." The girl raged. Was Bella messing with her boyfriend too? Welcome to the club.
"I have no idea what you're talking about." Bella retorted.
"I know you're the girl my father is seeing. Do you know that my mother will divorce him if she finds out?" The girl shouted, the veins at her neck popping.
It didn't take me a while to realize that she was talking about the old man who always dropped Bella off at our hostel.
"Look. Tell your mother to be a better wife. You won't believe the stories he tells me about her while we're in-"
She didn't wait for Bella to finish her taunt before she lashed out, planning to slap her.
She slapped someone but it wasn't Bella. It was Bonito. He'd materialized from nowhere and separated the two agitated girls.
Bonito had stood up for Bella without wanting to know what had happened. It was then that it hit me; I don't know what I was to Bonito, but it was obvious that I was playing second fiddle.
With that realization, tears came to my eyes but I fiercely blinked them back.
"I won't cry. I will not cry." I said to myself as I walked.
I heard footsteps behind me but I didn't turn. An angry Bonito materialized before me.
"Fea, what is wrong with you? Why do you keep running away from me?"
"I don't want to deceive myself anymore. You're better off with Bella."
"Why would you think so?"
"She's hot, fashionable and an it-girl and look how you defended her out there."
"Well, that's not my type. My type is smart, funny, caring. All the things you are. Moreover, I didn't defend her. I merely stopped the fight before it escalated."
"Look. Bonito. Drop it. I mean, remember the time you asked me to pull an all-nighter with you and you stood me up to have sex with her? Or the time she kissed you at the mall?"
Bonito seemed to have no response. I had shocked him into silence.
"Just leave me alone." I said, and this time he did.
I walked into my hostel and I saw Anita and Skye. I immediately put on a faux smile on my face and practically skipped past them.
It was only when I was in my room with the door locked that I reverted to my melancholy state.
I wish my heart wasn't fixated on Bonito.
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Some days after that, I went to an empty lecture hall to study alone. I had been there for about an hour and half when I noticed another presence.
Could it be Bonito? I thought, but no. It was only Beau. He was without his lackeys for the first time.
"Where's Bonito? Did he realize what an ugly bitch you are?" He taunted with a smirk.
"Where are your goons? Did they realize what a douchebag you are?" I retorted.
That wiped the smile off his face.
"Don't make me angry. It won't take me a minute to beat you to pulp." He threatened.
"Just like Bonito did to you?" I laughed.
His features narrowed as he advanced towards me. I wasn't scared in the least. With my self-defense moves, I knew I could hold my own.
Next thing, he looked behind me and his face dissolved in a smile, "I know, I've missed you too, baby." He crooned and leaned down to kiss me.
At that moment, three things ran across my mind:
- Shock; why the fuck was Beau kissing me?
- Disgust; ewww, his kiss was sloppy.
- What if Beau suffered from multiple personality disorder?
In that order. I shoved him away and wiped at my mouth. I was about to berate him when I noticed that he was still looking behind me with that stupid smirk on his face. I turned around and saw Bonito scowl before walking away.
Beau laughed and I stomped on his foot.
"Bitch!", he shrieked as I left him and ran after Bonito.
It took me awhile but I finally caught up with him. I know I'd told him to leave me alone but somehow, I felt it was important to explain the situation he'd witnessed.
"Bonito, wait. It's not what you think."
He turned and glared at me, " You were kissing Beau so it seems to be exactly what I think. And to think you accused me of playing you when you were the one doing the playing."
"Bonito it's not true. I was never involved with him. Hell, I hate him."
"It didn't look like hate to me. Moreover, how do you expect me to believe you when you don't believe me?" He asked.
"You know what?! I don't care what you think. I certainly owe you no explanation whatsoever!" I threw my hands in the air.
"That's right. We're not together anymore." He said coldly.
"I don't think we ever were." I confirmed quietly and I saw his eyes widen.
"If you feel that way." He nodded and left.
I wanted to call him back and...I don't know maybe ask him if we could just start over or anything but I didn't. Instead I packed my books and headed to my room, sadder than I'd ever been in a while😟😟😟😟😟😟😟😟.
Could someone play a break up song? Preferably one by Juicewrld?