𝑳𝑨 𝑭𝑰𝑳𝑳𝑬 𝑨𝑼𝑿 𝑭𝑳𝑬𝑼𝑹𝑺

୭̥⋆*｡✽ 𝐥𝐱𝐯𝐢𝐢𝐢.

november 21st, 2018
LITA

!! small time jump !!

IT IS A COLD NIGHT. It shouldn't come as a surprise, it is the middle of November after all. The sky is overcast with clouds and chilly winds are blowing. The temperature is down to minus zero degrees. I'm shivering due to cold, which is surprising... I don't get cold that easily. But it just fells like our blankets and quilts give no warmth.

Outside must be extremely cold and foggy. Snow had falling down for days. Again, it comes as a surprise as it doesn't snow this early in New York City at least. It doesn't cover anything in a thick layer of snow, but rather melts as soon as it hits the ground.

For some reason, I can't sleep tonight... It is just another sleepless night. On the other hand, Scarlett looks dead to the world, her body flushed against mine and under a pile of blankets. God knows she needs it. She's been working like crazy for the past few days, trying to juggle work, Rose, our relationship and Thanksgiving preparation as she decided to host this year.

She fell asleep on me earlier that evening. She was reading, and her eyes dropped shut. She tried to fight against it, nodding awake every few minutes, but she eventually lost her fight and her eyes remained shut, her breath slowed, and her body relaxed against mine.

I had no desire to push her off of me, but I couldn't keep staring at the dull walls of our bedroom. I slowly make my way to the kitchen. The floor is freezing, but it doesn't stop me from venturing outside the bedroom.

2:19 am is loud and green on the microwave as I pour myself a cup of tea and go back to looking out Scarlett's French windows overlooking the city and introducing a perfect view of the nocturnal world outside. The trees, the air, the moon, the dirt, all speak a different language at this time, and I want to listen.

I decide to sit at the kitchen table, and continue to stare out the window for what feels like hours. I wish the snow will just stop falling. If it keeps falling I'll have to cancel my plans for Scarlett's birthday. I know we'll have no desire to get out of the house because sometimes even going to work is a pain.

I am sitting here in my pyjamas and wrapped in a quilt I found lying around, slowly taking a sip from my tea-cup. I look calmly around the kitchen, it is lit up by a few candles. Otherwise, it's dark. Moreover, the kitchen is more cosy this way. Some of the candles seem to extinguished themselves. But I am too tired to get up, and find new candles to lit. I just sit there and turn my eyes toward the window. Wondering over what I am going to do if the snow doesn't stop falling... I'm too tired to even think it through, and I take another sip of the cup.

There has always been something about sitting at the kitchen table at this hour. Alone, surrounded by the dark quiet. The volume of my thoughts hiked up a few notches against it, the only thing that attempts to cut into the silence. This is the only time I can feel like the only breathing soul on earth. An eerie and unsettling feeling to most, a mollifying comfort to me. It's why my bouts of transient insomnia aren't a total inconvenience. If I can't beat it, I'll eagerly join it.

On these nights, I can expect the calling of an owl, the chirping of some night dwelling insects. I can even expect the distant cry of a car engine whose destination is always an out-of-reach mystery to me. Something that is never to be expected, the peering of another person's eyes. Rose stares from the other side of the kitchen and into my eyes. As soon as I notice her, she bursts into tears.

I have never got up so fast in my life. The chair scraps against the floor, but I don't care if I'm being loud. I hurry towards a trembling Rose and quickly wrap her in the quilt I was wrapped up in and bring her into my arms. Hot tears fall down my neck and I can't help but hold her tighter.