Shattered (Book One of The Progressive Trilogy)

Chapter 1: Crumbling Walls

*Edited by crimmsyn*

The rain pelted the glass, the wind screeched like a banshee going for the kill, and I blankly watched the sky through my bedroom window, trying to ignore the images breaking through my internal walls. I tried my damnedest to stay numb, to keep my personal barriers rigid, but my demons were relentless.

No, I am stronger than this, I thought bitterly.

My breathing picked up speed as wretched memories jostled around in my head. Trepidation started to seep through my mind, giving way to an up-and-coming panic attack.

Breathe. Don't show weakness. You are stronger than this. Don't break. Don't let weakness win, I chanted to myself.

As my heart raced, and my grip on reality began to slip, a knock on my bedroom door brought me back to the present.

Ugh, I'm pathetic. Weak.

"Emma, can I come in," Aunt Karen asked softly, her voice reeling me back to safety. I snapped my walls back into place, sealing them airtight. Blissful numbness took the reigns once again, pushing away the fear.

"Yeah," I said my voice unrecognizable, and lifeless.

She slowly entered my room, with her arms crossed, and posture stiff like she was walking on eggshells. Her dark green eyes assessed my current condition, and displayed evident sadness. Pity. As she stared, I took the time to look over her lazy sweats-and-t-shirt getup. Her usually down, pin-straight honey-blonde hair was in a messy knot at the top of her head, which allowed frizzy peices to stick out everywhere. Her face was also clean of her every day makeup, making her tanned skin appear washed out and almost sickly. She looked like I felt -- detached and lifeless. Aunt Karen pulled herself together a little and forced out a small smile.

"So, how do you like your new room? I didn't have time to do much but get some essentials and clothing. You can decorate however you'd like."

I only arrived an hour ago and as soon as I entered my new room I sat on the window seat and hadn't moved since. The room was nice and simple. All the mahogany furniture flawlessly blended in with the hardwood floor. Cream sheets and a sea-blue comforter with matching pillows covered the plush mattress of the queen sized bed, which tied in to the colors of the walls. I was also given the luxury of an entertainment system which housed a large flat-screen T.V. The old me would have been stoked about the room, but now I couldn't muster the emotions to care.

"It's good," I mumbled, shrugging.

Aunt Karen seemed wounded by my short answer but relieved I gave an answer period. She then took a deep breath before continuing with her news cautiously, "You're supposed to start school at Crestview High on Monday, but if you aren't feeling up to it by then you don't have to go. You still have a couple of days to settle in and decide." I grunted.

She looked around and shifted uncomfortably, clearing her throat before speaking again, "I, um, I spoke with Dr. Burns earlier today. Your first appointment is Tuesday at four."

I stiffened slightly at the mention of my doctor before relaxing again, and carried on with my blank stare.

Aunt Karen gulped awkwardly at my response and nodded at the desk, "I already got your school supplies.  Also, I got you a new phone, which already has all of my emergency contact info just in case you need it." She trailed off, realizing her subject change might cause more harm than good.

"K."

Her head dipped down as though she planned on giving into the night, then she looked at me, determination shining in her eyes.

"Listen, Emma, this isn't easy for either of us, especially you. I know what you went through was horrific and would scar a war vet, but I'm trying and I won't stop trying to help you get better because, like it or not, all we have left is each other."

All I could do was stare and give a slight nod. She took a deep breath i before she spoke again.

"Good, I'm glad we're on the same page. Now, dinner will be ready in about half an hour, just come downstairs then," she said and turned around to leave. Before she shut the door she glanced back at me.

"Dinner will be ready in half an hour, just come downstairs then," she reminded me.

Her eyes softened and she lowered her voice to a near whisper, "I know it seems impossible now, but you will get through this, we will get through this."

My teeth grind at the acknowledgement of my journey to a happier, healthier life. It's impossible.

"I say we because I'll be with you every step of the way, no matter what. I love you M&M," she said before she inched the door closed behind her and retreated downstairs to the kitchen. She didn't bother to wait for a response; she knew I wouldn't give her one.

I was alone again with my own broken mind, so I fortified my walls to prevent future crumbling. I shifted my hollow stare from the door back to the window, back to the storm. Back to the sole trigger of my horrific memory.

____________________________________________________________________________________AN:

Hey! I am usually the reader so this is a little nerve-racking! I usually write screenplays so this is a little difficult for me to get out, but the idea has been bouncing around my head for a while now and it felt like a better book than movie!

Let me know what ya'll think and constructive, not mean, criticism is welcomed and very much appreciated!

:)

Thanks so much to crimmsyn for helping me! It's still not perfect, but she gave me a few tips that seriously helped me out. She pointed a few things out without being rude and helped me make much needed adjustments to my story and the way I write. She is THE BOMB! If you need help she has a thread in the Improve Your Writing Club called I'LL READ UNTIL I STOP...THEN TELL YOU WHY.

Now, if anyone notices my struggle with passive and active voice, PLEASE point it out and make suggestions if you believe they are needed. Also, please let me know when I over use adverbs, it is a huge problem for me.

Comment, Vote, Follow!