A Lifetime Ago

Chapter 33

(37 years old - S1 year, night Saul attacked)

I sat at my desk in my office nursing a cup of tea, unable to concentrate ever since the news of Saul. After Ben had cleaned up his wounds I'd vacated the greenhouse wanting to give him time to rest. Things hadn't been as close as they were between Saul and I ever since we'd started at Alfea, and especially these last two years but the love between us had never passed, so it was hard to sit back and not be able to do anything to help him.

I was pulled from my rabbit hole trail of thoughts by a soft knock on the office door that I'd almost missed. "Come in." I responded expecting Ben because all students should be in bed at this hour. But as the door opened I was greeted with Sky's worried face.

Before I even managed to get a word out. he spoke, whilst shutting the door behind him. "Can we talk?

I nodded, before joining him on the couch. "What's on your mind?"

"Saul," he replied honestly. "I'm afraid of what's coming and what he's going to say."

I took a deep breath knowing what he was feeling, I'd been worrying about the same things not too long ago. "Well, he was and still is a soldier. You need to be prepared for what's going to come Sky. He'll start making preparations and having talks with you about what needs to happen if he dies. He's going to say things that will upset you, but you need to let him Sky. It's part of his process."

Sky shook his head, refusing to accept it. "I'm not losing him." He replied, meeting my gaze. "I can't lose him. I already lost one father, I'm not losing another."

"It doesn't mean that he won't think and plan like the way he's been taught to."

"You mean the way you've both been taught to." His voice was low. "You're doing it too! You're preparing me for when it's his turn to prepare me. And you're already preparing yourself for when he's going to talk to you!"

"Sky," I tried softly, but he wouldn't let me get a word in as he stood.

"No! I didn't come here for pity or.. Or-or.." He gave up trying to find the right words and decided just to leave instead.

I sighed, and slowly returned to the paperwork that still awaited my attention.

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(37 years old - Two nights later)

There was a knock on the door to my suite and no magic was needed to know who it was. I had been waiting for this conversation for two days now. The door opened soon after and Saul stepped through the door frame closing the door behind him. I adjusted my position on the couch, now tucking my feet underneath me. He came around and sat down close next to me. I finally looked over at him studying every inch as if I were to never see him again. I absorbed every detail I could. His expression, every little detail of his complexion; the way his eyes shone in the light; the rough stubble that made my skin tingle with every kiss; and the darkened veins all over his body. In our silence, our eyes played out the silent warning conversation of what was to come. When I finally couldn't take it anymore I looked away, breaking eye contact which only initiated the real conversation.

"Soldiers... have to have these conversations with the people that matter, you know that better than anyone Farah." His voice was soft and sincere, and he placed a reassuring hand on my knee.

"We're not supposed to be soldiers anymore, Saul." My voice came out quieter than I'd planned as I tried to keep my voice steady and level.

Saul carried on, knowing if he stopped we'd never get back to the subject. "My recommendation letters are in the top right drawer of my desk for when Sky should need them, adjust them if need be, you always were better at finding the right words. Sky needs to stay on top of his training - make sure he works on using his right more - and guide him towards the right connections at next year's Alumni Banquet. As for my position, don't get someone too soft on the outside, the students will eat them alive. And don't let Sarah mourn for too long. When she was 10 her guinea pig died and she could not let it go for almost a year, she doesn't take losses well. It-"