𝘚𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘳 𝘓𝘰𝘷𝘪𝘯' - Hyunlix

Talking to you

Hyunjin's pov

"I'm so sorry."

My face furrowed slightly in confusion. What did he need to apologize for?

"Hm? For what, Lix?" I responded, looking down to meet his gaze.

He separated himself from me and I felt empty again. He sat on his knees directly in front of me, our legs touching. He looked down and sniffled his last tear, fidgeting with his fingertips.

"I just.. I feel horrible, Hyunjin."

I wasn't following, only tilting my head softly.

"I've been avoiding you and you just wanted to talk things out.." he began

I immediately began getting swallowed by guilt. He had no reason to believe that this was his fault. Is this what he's been thinking ever since?

"Lix.."

".. and I was too immature to face you and I can only imagine how hurt you were and.."

"Felix."

"..I feel like an idiot because I really do want to communicate but I don't want to face the potential truth of you hating me after all this time-"

"Felix!" I exclaim while grabbing his face, squishing it up a little bit.

"Yes..?" He said in a mushed voice due to his squished up lips.

"You have nothing to apologize for. I'm the one that should be apologizing." I protested.

"But you already did. That day, you were explaining yourself and I refused to listen-"

"Felix. You did what any other person would and should do in that situation. As a matter of fact, most people would hate me. But your heart is so big and full of love that you don't hate the sight of me right now. You are willing to talk to me rather than slap me. That, alone, is enough to tell that you are not the wrong one in this situation."

He sniffled and looked down as he listened.

"I'm sorry, Felix."

He looked back up into my eyes. The entire universe was in his eyes. They were the most beautiful sight.

"I am so.. so sorry." I looked down and lowered my hands from his face, sitting crisscross in front of him.

"I was the one who took advantage of your astounding love without realizing what I really had. I allowed myself to be blinded by the past and break all of your trust. And I hate myself for it." His gaze softened at my words.

"Hyunjin.."

"You are the best person in the entire world, Felix." I looked back up at him and he showed a small smile.

"You are funny, kind, loving, and so beautiful. I knew all of those things when I was with you, but for some reason, I got distracted. I did love you, truly. I do love you. And I think I always will. Because when you make a mistake like I did, it stays with you. I don't think I'll ever meet someone else like you, Felix, and it kills me to know that I could've kept someone like you. I am so, so sorry, Lix. I've hurt you in ways unimaginable and I will never forgive myself for it. And if you want to never speak again after we walk out of this room, I won't stop you. But I need you to know that I am truly, and utterly, ashamed and sorry for everything I've done." I rambled for a little longer than I expected, letting out an exhale when I finished.