Part 7

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It is so obviously a date that they're trying not to make more awkward, but it kind of is. And that's okay, because Beatrice already knows this about herself, and Ava just laughs through it.

They actually end up at an open food market, several different stalls set up in a cobblestone quad, couples and young families milling about. There's a small stage set up on one end, a handful of instruments abandoned and waiting, and Beatrice likes it immediately.

"I want to try all the foods," Ava declares, pulling her towards the first stall. Beatrice doesn't think it's actually possible to do, but Ava proves her wrong, and definitely enjoys doing it. Beatrice is more worried she'll end up making herself sick, but most of the stalls have samples, and they go around the courtyard two and a half times before Ava decides she wants pizza.

"But we're never going back to Italy," Ava declares, and then frowns. "At least not willingly."

Beatrice gets her pizza, neither agreeing nor disputing her declaration. They find a bench at a table, joining another couple opposite them, exchanging quiet greetings, and then huddling together. Ava enjoys seafood, Beatrice has come to learn, and hot, spicy food - both of which she has on their shared pizza.

"I think it's from my mother's side of the family," Ava explains, looking amused when Beatrice reaches for her water, mouth burning from the spice. She knows the water won't help, but it's the thought that counts.

"You rarely speak about her," Beatrice points out, voice gentle.

"I don't know if what I remember is actually how she was," Ava admits. "Sometimes, I think I made things up in my head, you know? How I hoped she was. How I wished our lives would have been without the accident."

"What was her name?"

"Elena," she says, smiling softly. "She was beautiful."

"I can believe that."

Ava meets her gaze, a little startled. "Ah. I see. You find me beautiful."

"When you're not being annoying," Beatrice teases.

"So, never, huh?"

She leans back, sipping her water again. "I think that you are everything I was desperate and terrified of finding in this world."

Ava stares, slowly swallowing the bite in her mouth. "Bea," she says, quiet enough that Beatrice has to lean in to hear her. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"You know you can tell me anything."

"There was a part of me that didn't want this too soon," she confesses.

"What?"

"You. Me. Us."

Beatrice frowns, not quite following.

Ava rests a hand on Beatrice's knee. "I wanted to bumble my way through experiences with other people," she says, and Beatrice absolutely hates the thought of that. "I wanted to make all my mistakes with them, learn all I can, so that I could be ready for you." Her hand gently squeezes. "Because with you, it feels like forever, and I don't want to get it wrong."

Beatrice knows many words, in many languages, but Ava has left her speechless, once again. Ava eventually takes her hand back, letting Beatrice breathe. They finish the rest of their dinner in silence, Beatrice trying to formulate some kind of response that wouldn't terrify them both.

It's forever.

Of course, it's forever.

Or just as long as this life will allow them.

Beatrice has known this for a while, but it catches her off guard that Ava seems to have accepted the same thing. It's when Ava starts gathering their scraps to throw away that Beatrice reaches out for her arm, her fingers curling around warm skin.

Ava freezes, turning her head to look at her. "You're not done?"

"I love you."

Ava's eyes widen.

"I don't know if you heard me," Beatrice continues. "Before. When you went through the portal. I said it. After. I just - it took me a moment to catch up, but then you were gone, and I didn't know when I would be able to tell you in person, so I just need you to know, okay? Whatever happens in our lives, you have to know that I love you."

Ava continues to watch her, eyes studying her. "The same way you love Camila?"

"No," Beatrice says. "Definitely not."

"A different way, then?"

Beatrice nods, not willing to explain further. "You said we have time," she says.

"We do," Ava confirms.

"Then can we just - I just need - "

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