Shattered - A Rape Story

Where Do We Go

PJ sat waiting near the door still curious as to what had gotten Lily so worked up. He looked up at the clock realizing it must have been important since they'd been in there for nearly an hour.

Maybe I should call the paramedics.

He chuckled to himself as he stirred his coffee. It was then he heard the door across the hall close. He walked towards his own door smiling, excited for the humor and drama he was sure would follow. He opened the door and the smile immediately vanished when he saw Lily racing down the hall.

"Lil?" he called after her confused.

He ran after in the direction she went and found her curled up on the steps of the stairwell.

"Lily?"

She jumped staring up at him with fear in her eyes. He could see the panic flash across her face when she saw him. Her right eye and left cheek had dark purple tones to them. Her lip on the left side was broken open and beginning to swell.

"Oh my God. Lily. What happened?!" he demanded kneeling down beside her within less than a second.

"I-I... I have to go" she said bolting up to run out the building.

"Lily, wait" he said grabbing her arm.

"No!" she cried shaking him off her in a panic. His touch felt like fire on her skin bringing up flashes of Chris grabbing her and shoving her back to the couch. His hands were everywhere. She couldn't get the images from her head. They wouldn't stop. Chris hadn't stopped.

They stood silently staring at each other pausing to take in what was happening. She hadn't been anywhere but Chris and Brandon's apartment. She knew how her face looked. It was obvious.

I just might have to come after you, and you've seen how I can get when I'm angry.

Fear surged through her. The only option was to run. There was no other way.

"I... I need to-"

"Lily. It's okay. I just want to help. Let me help you."

She stared at him for a few seconds longer before the sobs started pouring out of her. She let herself collapse into his arms as he came closer to her.

"Common" he cooed leading her down the steps. He wanted to take her back to his apartment but there was no way, not with Chris right across the hall. He took her keys before helping her into the passenger side of her kia and locking the door even just for the short time he had to spend crossing to the other side. He never let go of her once they were settled in, rocking her gently back and forth as she continued to sob. "I got you. I'm here. Everything's okay now" he soothed into her ear as he drove the roads to her house. She clutched his arm like it was her life line the whole ride. It was as if he was holding her together. The shock was just starting to fade as he took in the torn shirt in her hands and her beaten face and tried to stop himself from realizing what must've happened. But as he saw the bruises between her legs he couldn't deny it anymore. He bit the inside of his cheek trying to stop the tears that threatened to spill over the brims of his eyes. No. No. This couldn't have happened to Lily. Sweet Lily who was truly the kindest person he'd ever known. But it had. Lily had been raped. Even worse, she had been raped by Chris while he was right across the hall. Anger coursed through his veins and it took all he had to stop himself from turning back to rip Chris's head from his neck. But no. He had to be here for Lily... at least for now.

"Is anyone home?" he asked pulling into her driveway nervous about what Eric might do if he saw her like this.

"No. Not 'til tonight" she whispered through shaky breaths. He carried her from the car locking the door and setting the house alarm behind him before bringing her up to her room.

"Can you tell me what happened?" PJ asked softly, his voice breaking as he sat with her in his arms on the floor of her room. Lily shook her head whispering "no" as she buried her face in his shirt. "You have to tell someone. We have to go to the police."

"No!" Lily screamed in a panic. "No. No, we can't. Please PJ, you can't tell anyone. You have to promise me."

"Lily, he raped you."

"Stop. Stop, you can't say that" she begged in a panic sobbing as she heard the words out loud.

"We have to keep him away from you. I can't let him hurt you again." Lily just continued crying shaking her head no. PJ didn't understand. Why wouldn't she want him gone? Then he realized. "Did he threaten you?"

"He said he'd come after me" she whispered into his shirt. "Oh God, I can't have this happen again. I can't."

"He won't be able to get to you if he's in jail. Please, Lily. We can't let him do this."

"I can't. PJ, I'm scared. I'm so scared."

PJ swallowed hard unsure of what to do. He knew Lily. She could keep secrets. It was a miracle she'd even been able to tell him. With the state she was in now there was no way she'd be saying anything else anytime soon. He wanted her to be safe. He wanted Chris rotting away in hell. But he wouldn't be able to go the police without her. The only thing he could think of was to go off and beat the living shit of Chris but he couldn't afford to get arrested or charged or anything like that right now. He had to protect Lily; no one else knew to.

"Okay. Okay, don't worry. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. I promise" he said determined. "Let's just get you cleaned up."

He got her to go shower telling her to leave her things with him so he could bag her clothes in case they ever did need to tell the police. Lily started freaking out when he explained this but he promised he wouldn't do anything that wasn't absolutely necessary. She sat across from him now on the floor of her bedroom. He refused to leave her until someone else came home. PJ was using the limited knowledge he had from his work mandated CPR course to bandage her hand.

"I don't know how I'm going to explain... What do I do about my face?"

PJ swallowed the lump in his throat with tears brimming close to his bottom lashes. "That concealer stuff. I've heard it works okay. It should look normal" he managed to get out.

Lily's heart sank. "I'm so sorry PJ. I should've never gotten you into this" she sniffed turning away.

"No. No, Lil" he whispered. "I'm glad you did. I just don't like this idea. I want you safe."

"I can't. I... I can't give him a reason to hurt me again. If we go to the police I don't know what will happen. They may not even arrest him. They may not even believe me."

"Why wouldn't they believe you?"

"Anything you say is my word against yours... Who's going to believe you?"

"Because it was my fault. If I hadn't gone over there-"

"Don't. Don't you ever say that again. You did not do this. He did this."

"Because of me, PJ! I knew he had feelings for me and I went to confront him and that made him think it was okay. I'm disgusting. I'm a slut. Everyone's going to blame me. I just want to forget it."

"What's to stop him from hurting you again, huh? Look what he's done to you! Look at your face. You did not make him do this."

She took a deep breath considering this but ultimately shutting it out.  

"You were absolutely begging for it."

"It's going to be fine. My face is gonna get better and then everything will be back like before."

"He's not coming near you. Never again." She looked over to see tears spilling over onto his cheeks.

"It'll be ok" Lily lied placing her good hand over his. "Everything's going to be ok."