A Crown in Ash (The Ostler's Boy Book 3)

Chapter Forty-Two

Askar walked to the end of the room. His silhouette was the only break in the whisper of light from the long windows that lined the walls. I took the final four steps up into the space with him, watching the stars as they came to life around his back. A blue haze skirted over the planks of the floor, bringing the night in with us, and despite how dark it was outside, there were still shadows that cast over him and I. Shadows from the mountainscape lit only by the Heavens. He barely touched the book I'd left behind as he passed by the end table and checked the view out one of the panes.

"This is a lovely place to be," he said. "Thank you for sharing it with me."

"Aye, I like it up here," I told him. My throat felt dry, and my palms were sweating. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to say the words.

He stood in front of the bench that was built into the framing and opposite of the stairs. He didn't move when I kneeled on it to show him the sky and all the constellations that I knew.

"Beautiful," he said.

"You think everything is beautiful," I teased him. "But you're right in this case. I wouldn't be surprised if you could see the whole empire from this seat. But even if you couldn't, you can see so far, and that's poetic for me. This is my terrace."

His hands slipped into the pockets of his trousers, and for a moment, we just sat in peaceful silence.

"Eliza. If you are not ready to say the words to me, don't. If you're not ready to leave, don't. That's all there is to it, but I am not going anywhere unless you ask me to. I'll travel home and back for as long as it takes for you. I am yours; I've decided it."

I swallowed. "You are so patient with me," I said.

"I have waited a decade for this moment; I will wait forever if I must."

I shook my head. "I have not been lucky to know patience like yours," I said. "I'm sorry I'm dramatic and a lot, and that I overthink, and that I...."

He was quiet. "You apologize for being who you are; I've just declared I love you for the same reason."

"In Gosil," I started, working up the nerve. "On your balcony..."

"I said a lot of things in Gosil. We were upset in different ways."

"Yes, but..." I hesitated. "You said that you had been hopeful."

"Yes."

"That you would stand on your balcony and look out across the sea... To the mountains and past, and that despite the fact that you could not actually see me, you dreamed of me."

He looked down. "...Yes. I did."

"I thought you were distancing yourself from me, not confessing how you felt. I'm sorry to be so thickheaded, but... Ask. Askar... I believe you when you say we're each other's halves."