Miracle Marriage

Chapter 13

Doctor's Life

I carefully considered Aisha Chechi's and Durga's counsel. I truly don't know which path to choose. Should I remain silent until he tells me everything, or should I simply question him and prove to him that I am capable of being an efficient wife? I've asked myself this question more than a hundred times already. But I'm at a loss for what to do. I'm such a baby.

That night...

He arrived home late and seemed depressed. Is something going on? Should I approach him? I am unable to question him about the topic I was preparing. I'm not sure whether he'll respond, but I should at least inquire about his worries. After his bath, I went to our room.

"What happened, Doctor? You look so depressed. Did something happen at the hospital?" I gulped and questioned him, nervously, not expecting an answer.

"Hmm," he simply hummed as predicted, he still thinks of me as a child and doesn't want to express his emotions with me. I was furious at his attitude.

"Nan ungaikitte oru kelvi kettai, doctor (I asked you a question, doctor). I may be younger, much younger in comparison to you, but I am still your wife. I have the right to know what is bothering my husband. Still, if you don't wish to tell me anything about your life, you don't have to. Is it forbidden for me to question you or be angry with you? or only you men can do it?" I closed my eyes and lashed out. I was terrified of looking him in the eyes. But I could feel him approaching me, getting closer and closer. He's there in front of me, I can sense him. Is he going to beat me? Is he angry? Have I spoken too much? Oh! God! I thought while my panicked heart pounded rapidly, I clenched my skirt, expecting something violent. Regardless, to my amazement, a heavy weight rested on my right shoulder. Suddenly, it became wet with warm water. What is this? What actually happened? I opened my eyes and looked at him. He has his head on my shoulder and his eyes are welling up with warm tears. I was taken aback. He's weeping!

"Doctor, why are you crying? Doctor?" I was baffled.

"Sathya, I am sorry, I am in so much pain now," his words broke, voice cracked.

"Can you tell me the reason for that pain?" I asked him, gently, stroking his head.

"Being a doctor is scary. Saving a life is scarier. I lost someone today. Until yesterday, I felt relieved to see her smiling, but... I never get close with any of my patients, yet I smile with her. She was just five. Like you, she was innocent and aspired to be a doctor, but I couldn't help her. Sathya, she died in my arms. I tried my everything to save her. I can still feel her warmth and her little fingers around mine. She clung to my fingers tenaciously as she battled death in her final minutes, but she was powerless to win. I'm not feeling well, Sathya. It's quite terrifying. Even though I have seen many die, I feel guilty," As he gripped my arms, his voice quavered. I could feel his body shaking and his heart breaking. Is this how every doctor feels or is this how he is? I felt so stupid. I was overthinking a petty thing all day while he was fighting for a little child with death. What should I say to him? How should I console him? I have no idea.

I wrapped my hands around him, softly petting his hair and caressing his head. I couldn't say anything. But, to me, embracing him felt like the suitable thing to do. I hugged him without saying anything. What he stated is correct; no matter how hard we try, we cannot change the fate of some. That is something I want to tell him. I wanted to tell him, it's okay, it's natural, she's in a better place now, you did your best but my lips couldn't move. On my shoulders, he rested. I gently offered him my warmth. I now realise how fortunate I am to be his wife. He is unlike any other man, including my Appa. He is unique.

"Sathya, do you feel shame to be my wife?" he asked,

"Why should I?" I questioned back

"Men don't cry, crying is not manly, they say, do you agree with that? I cry a lot," he smiled softly

"Why? Were men made out of iron? He can cry if he is sad if he doesn't cry, I don't think of him as a human. I am happy you are human, doctor. I cry a lot too, I think we are made for each other. I am glad that you are my husband," I grinned broadly at him, hoping to change his mood.

"My wife is so interesting," he faced me with pleasant eyes, joining me in the laugh.

"Of course, I am."

"Sathya, thank you," he then replied. I don't understand why is he thanking me but I was contented.

"Doctor, I may not be a hard believer as my Amma says, but I am sure she is in a peaceful place where she can live her dream life. Maybe there will be another Earth where she can begin her new life as a healthy person," I tried to cheer him up.

"You are correct. I hope and I pray,"

We ate together and despite his sorrow, he chatted with me like he usually did. I guess he really liked that child to become this down. I didn't talk to him any further. Is it the sense of maturity? I feel like I have grown up a little. Perhaps it's his influence, I concluded as we went to bed.

"Aahh!" Suddenly Durga's marriage news came to my mind. "Doctor, You know my best friend, Durga, right?" I asked waking up from sleep.

"Yes, I know her," surprised, he replied. "Did she call you? Do you want to visit your village?"

"Well, she called and it's her marriage next week. She invited both of us. Can we go?"

"Come to think, we've never been to my home also, right? So then, how about I take a week's leave tomorrow, then we leave for my home first and then go to Durga's marriage from there?" he suggested so excitedly.

"Huh! You are a genius doctor. Ok, so when are we leaving?" I was beaming.

"Let's go tomorrow evening, I will check the train time. Now go back to sleep," he answered.

"seri," (yes) we went to bed elated. Without our one-hand space, I slept near him. He was close to me, and I felt safe having him around.

I was excited from the morning onwards. I got up early and started preparing breakfast for him. I believe he sensed my enthusiasm. Obviously, I was humming many songs throughout my work.

"Sathya, I have put my clothes on the bed, please pack those with your luggage. There is a luggage bag on the top shelf of the alamari. Do you want me to take it for you?" He questioned while having breakfast

"No, doctor, I can take it. I am stronger than you think," hehe, I grinned.

"Ok, then you don't have to prepare any food, let's buy from outside," he went after giving me a slew of instructions. It made me comfortable rather than upset. I was pleased because I was going to see where his life blossomed. I want to visit his village, his house, his friends, his school, his neighbours, everything. I smiled to myself.