My Mistakes Were Made For You

7. [Poetry]

1633 words
[★★★★☆]

I wish,
you'd look at me
like the way
I look at you.

I wish,
you'd search for me
like the way
I search for you
wherever I go

I wish,
you'd love me
like the way
I love you

But I know you
do not want me,
and I know you
will never be mine

   Alex wrote these words the day Matt found out about his secret- the day Miles broke his heart- the day his world fell apart. That day, he cried himself to sleep. Just like many days after. Alex tried to talk to Miles but he often wouldn't let him. The other times it was just an awkward conversation that didn't last long. Alex missed the days they talked and laughed all the time and Miles did too, even though that was only 4 days ago.

   The other day, Alex had walked up to him. "Miles, please talk to me." He started but Miles wouldn't want to. "Sorry, Al. I can't right now." He always said that. Always. Why was he being like that? They somewhat talked to each other when they were with Jamie, Nick and Matt. But these were the only times and it didn't really count as a conversation. Generally, Miles often wasn't with them. He was alone in those cases.

   "Miles, you still haven't really talked to him, have you?" Pauline asked. "No.." Miles muttered and Pauline mumbled. "I don't know what happened but do yourself a favour and go to him. He's obviously trying to get in contact with you. Tell or ask him what's on your mind. So that he can understand." Pauline suggested and Miles thought about it. Damn.. why are mothers always right?

   He just needed one simple answer. A simple yes to the question Are you gay? Miles had lots of time to think about all past events that had happened. He went through everything. From the first meeting until the kiss. Miles was panicking when it happened because he wasn't sure what he wanted. But now that the boy could think about it, he came to the conclusion that he was, indeed, falling for Alex. He wished he had never broke that kiss.

[★★★★☆]

Alex has been talking to Alexa since that day a lot. He did it to distract himself from Miles. He did to forget him. But it wouldn't work. "Alexa? I-I have a question." Alex started and the girl smiled at him to let him know she was listening. "Do.. ya w-want to go on a.. uh date?" Alex asked, nervously. Alexa's smile instantly faded. Did he say something wrong? Was he just imagining that she liked him?

   "Al.. uh.. what about Miles?" She asked. "What?! M-Miles? I'm totally over h-him! Absolutely.." He awkwardly laughed it off but she had a stop-trying-to-lie-it's-not-working-look. Alex noticed it because her reaction was very obvious. "No, A-Alexa.. I really l-like ya. You don't understand." Alex wasn't lying. He did like her but nothing could replace the way he liked Miles. "Al.. I know that.. but please. You're not doing yourself a favour with that. I see the way you're looking at him. I don't know what happened between you and Miles but that can't just be the end of you two." Alexa said and laid a hand on his.

   "We k-kissed.. and he didn't take it well. Now he won't talk to me.." Alex explained quickly and simply. The girl looked really surprised. "Oh.. maybe he's having a hard time figuring out what he wants..?" Alexa figured. "What if h-he hates me now? What if he doesn't want to d-do anythin' with me? Like ever?"

   "Al. Do me a favour and stop asking questions. Everything is going to be alright." Alexa said in a calm voice and Alex nodded. "But I'd still like to meet you.." Alex added to the nod and Alexa started smiling. "Sure. We can hang out sometime, if you wanna. Just text me then." She said. "Okay! I'll.. join the others then.. okay? Y-You can come and join us too.." Alex suggested and she smiled.