!WARNING! THIS CHAPTER IS INTENSE
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Fear is a primitive but powerful emotion. Such a thing was used as a weapon by the Decepticons for millenia. Unfortunately, fear was something that often damaged the spark. I do not often show fear, but when I did, it was often at a breaking point.
I don't know what triggered it, perhaps it was the crash of Bulkhead breaking something or maybe the sound of Ratchet yelling at Bulkhead followed by the loud clang of the wrench hitting him, but now I was in a corner of my berthroom with my servos covering my helm. My venting was ragged and rapid, my frame shaking and my optics wide. Inside my mind, I saw the worst moment of my entire life.
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A/n TW: Abuse, trauma, and drunken assault
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"Stupid little brat!" My carrier screeched. "How many times must I tell you this?! Mechs don't cry!"
"I'm sorry, carrier. I'm sorry! Please stop hurting me!" I sobbed as she struck me again.
"I said stop crying! What would your sire think if he saw you sobbing like this?"
"Please stop! I'm sorry!"
"Sorry, doesn't cut it Y/D!" She struck me again and again, my cries continuing to go unheard.
"What is the meaning of this?!" Megatron yelled angrily.
"Sire! She's hurting me!" I sobbed, my carrier slapping me across the face.
"Stop crying!" She barked.
"Don't you dare strike him again!" Megatron growled.
"Oh, what would you know?"
"You're drunk on high-grade again, aren't you?"
"Yeah, and so what?" I used this opportunity to run over to my sire and hide behind him.
"You will not hurt him ever again!" Megatron snarled, powering up his arm cannon and firing a hole through my carrier. I was trembling in fear and horror as her lifeless frame fell to the floor. Megatron knelt next to me, picking me up and holding me close. "It's okay. Y/D, sire's got you. She won't hurt you again. Let's go see Soundwave." I didn't respond, but I buried my face into my sire's chest plate and sobbed. "I won't ever leave you, my little supernova, nor will I let anyone hurt you."
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"Y/D?" I heard Bumblebee beep, but I didn't look up. He walked over to my shaking frame and knelt down, hesitantly placing a servo on me. I flinched at the touch in fear.
"Don't hurt me!" I panicked.
"Shhh, shhh, it's me." Bumblebee buzzed.
"B-bee?" I asked, tears dripping from my optics as I looked up at him.
"Easy sweetspark. I'm going to hold you, is that okay?" He asked. I hesitated but nodded, Bumblebee slowly pulling me into a hug. My helm rested against his chassis, the steady beat of his spark calming my racing one. He gently ran circles with his didgets on my back struts, the motion helping me ground myself.
"I... I'm sorry, Bee." I whimpered.
"You don't have to apologize." He beeped. "What happened?"
"I dunno." I sobbed. "I dunno what happened b-but it did. I-I broke."
"Shh, it's okay."
"What's going on?" Ratchet asked, poking his helm in.
"He was shaking and venting hard." Bumblebee buzzed. "It's like he wasn't here." Ratchet gave me a look, and I turned away, not wanting anyone to see my current state.
"Let me know when he's fully calmed down and then have him lay down." Ratchet said. "I'll need to alert Optimus-"
"Please don't!" I panicked, my venting rapid and ragged again. "Please, no! I don't want to get hurt again!"
"No one is going to hurt you, Y/D." Bulblebee beeped softly. "Optimus would never hurt you, nor would he hurt any of us."
"P-promis?"
"I promise, focus on my sparkbeat, okay?" Bumblebee chirped, returning my helm to his chassis.
"I'll be back to check on you." Ratchet said, leaving the room. After what felt like hours, I finally calmed down, eventually falling into a light recharge on Bumblebee due to exhaustion.
"Bumblebee, how is he?" I heard Ratchet ask quietly.
"He just went into recharge. What was that?" Bumblebee buzzed as quiet as he could.
"A terror attack. It's probably one of the most intense ones I've witnessed in a while."
"A terror attack?"
"It's a mental health issue that happens when a bot becomes overwhelmed by stress or a certain event triggers a memory that wasn't erased properly by a nemoid surgeon. The fact that you were able to calm him down is quite a huge sign of trust from him."
"What do we do?"
"Just keep doing what you are doing right now. When he is feeling better, we will get to what triggered this. Don't let him stand up too quickly, or he may fall over. Terror attacks are especially harsh on the neural network. I'll be back with some low-grade for him." I heard Ratchet leave, and I rolled my helm over on Bumblebee's chassis.
"I don't want pity." I mumbled.
"No one is pitying you Y/D. We just want to help. I know you aren't used to that sort of thing." Bumblebee chirped quietly, pressing a kiss on the top of my helm. "No one is rushing you to spill either." I grunted in response. "You are so stubborn, you know that?"
"And you aren't?" I teased, slowly pushing myself up and leaning against the wall as a wave of dizziness hit me.
"I'd say you are more stubborn than a dinobot." Bumblebee buzzed.
"Hey! I'm not THAT bad." I chuckled. Bumblebee then guided me to my berth and had me sit down. "A dinobot would have refused to do this."
"True, but you are still as stubborn as one."
"And you love me for it?" I asked, looking up at Bumblebee. He sighed in amused annoyance.
"Knock knock." Ratchet said, entering with a thing of low-grade. "Here, are you ready to tell us what happened?" He asked as he handed me the energon. I hesitantly took it and, after downing the bitter liquid in one fell swoop, I told him of my flashback and what I thought triggered it.
"It's really stupid. I can run helm first into combat without a second thought, yet I'm here being an emotional mess about something that happened a long time ago."
"Trauma takes a while to heal. The fact that you were able to come out of it and open up to begin with is a huge step. Most end up drowning in it." Ratchet said. "You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. I'm sure with time, these attacks will become a thing of the past."
"Thankfully, I don't get these often, I had them a lot when I was a youngling." I said. "I just don't want the others to pity me or to see me as weak."
"No one will see you that way, Optimus sure doesn't." Ratchet said. "Believe it or not, he used to get terror attacks as well."
"I... I didn't know."
"Not many do, but he kept pushing through it by asking for help when he needed it." Ratchet said. "So don't be as stubborn as a Dinobot and ask for help every now and then."
"Oh Primus, not you too!" I laughed.
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A/N it's okay to show emotion kings! And to those dealing with anxiety like this I feel ya! Stay strong lads, lasses, and nonbinary masses!
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Beauty and the Bee (Tfp Bumblebee x Mech!Reader)
FanfictionY/D is the heir to the Decepticon cause and throne, something that he never wanted yet was trapped by. Then, after a rather strange turn of events, he meets an adorable scout who would change his life forever. ...
