Nick Nelson and Kit Connor Imagines

Yelling

It hadn't been a good day for either of the pair. Y/n had had a stressful day at work and Kit had had a frustrating press day filled with boring interviews and weird questions about his relationship with his girlfriend. What each of them had wanted to be a relaxing and quiet night together had turned into a chaotic, screaming match about something neither of them could remember anymore. At first, it had been annoying comments to one another and then, out of nowhere, Kit snapped. The boy aggressively stood up from his chair and started yelling at Y/n. They had gotten into their fair share of arguments before, but this one was different. Kit had never raised his voice. Partially because he prided himself on communicating like an adult but also because Y/n never did well with yelling. Her childhood was filled with exactly that, yelling. Her parents could never keep a stable relationship and she had developed major anxiety when others raised their voice. It always brought her back to her toddler-self or teenage-self hiding in her bathroom, it was the only kid-room with a lock, with her headphones on full blast even though it never drowned out the screaming of her parents' fight. When Kit and Y/n had begun dating, she had opened up to him about what it was like growing up around an extremely toxic couple. In fact, a lot of the times when Kit would do something sweet or compromise in an argument, Y/n would get confused. She never knew what real love looked like and when Kit began to understand this, he started to do little things throughout the day that healed her relationship with love and trust. It was one of the many things she loved about him. Long story short, Kit knew what yelling did to her and he never once did it. However, he had completely forgotten about that side of things and the rage that had been brewing within him all day finally spilled over.

The second she realized what was going on, Y/n retreated into herself. Her breath quickened as he continued to yell at her and tears began to fall as he started flailing his arms around, reminding her of her dad and all the nights he had come home drunk and loud. He began pacing and if he had even quickly glanced at her, he would have seen what she was going through. The panic attack was rapidly approaching and she knew if she didn't get out of there soon, she would go into a full fledged panic. His yelling continued as she stood up from her chair and made a b-line for their room. Kit only registered her movement when she pushed past him and closed their door on him. It had taken him a few seconds to cool down and when he did, everything hit him like a freight train.

He had never screwed up so bad.

The actor stood there for a few moments, trying desperately to hear what was going on on the other side of the door, but he didn't hear anything. He couldn't even imagine what she was going through. He had seen her reaction only a few times, once when they were walking down the street and a homeless man started yelling at another couple walking ahead of them and another time when their friends had started screaming about getting tickets to their favorite concert. Each moment had been brief but he saw the way her face fell and the quick change of her breathing pattern. She rarely spoke about her childhood but when she did, it was never good. The boy loved her so much and knowing that he had brought her back to that place in the worst way possible made him want to crawl into a hole and stay there forever. Although, as much as he wanted to do that, he needed to know if his girlfriend was okay. Everything he was feeling was completely pushed aside as he lightly knocked on the door of their bedroom.

"Y/n? Baby? Are you in there? I'm so sorry." He tried to say it as quietly and calmly as possible but he didn't trust himself at all. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know how to comfort her when he was the thing she needed comforting about.

He yelled at her.

He screamed.

Kit had never met her parents because Y/n didn't really speak to them and, also, because he didn't know if he could face them. Everything they put her through, every fight and comment to her about not being good enough, had scarred her, leaving behind a pile of torn up parts that he had yet to completely put back together. The things her mom said to her about her weight and the way she looked or her dad's comments about her "disappointing" B in math had left her to believe she wasn't worth being loved or at least the kind she had seen in movies. What Y/n thought she would marry was something identical to her parents. Yelling and sleeping in different beds for the rest of her life. She had come to terms with that years ago but then came Kit and everything changed. He, single handedly, restored the confidence she lost to her parents a long time ago and he had provided her with something stable in her life, something she could lean on and trust at any point in time. Now, he wondered if he had just ruined all of that in the span of five minutes.