Suicidal Todoroki x Depressed Bakugou | Fragments

17 | Opening Up

A/N:
Edited some parts of this chapter for Wattpad. These edits are some that entirely change some meanings and events.

Shouto Todoroki

Over the next few days, Todoroki and Bakugou managed to aid each other in improving their overall well-being. Todoroki had gained a few pounds, and Bakugou managed to attain another few hours of sleep. Yet, ever since the argument that the two engaged in, Todoroki couldn't help but sieve Bakugou's scrupulous efforts to erase the prospect of his remarks coming off as offensive. Bakugou had inquired as to whether or not Todoroki had been hurt by the argument multiple times, but each time, Todoroki denied it. Despite his words, Todoroki could not shake the invectives that shot through his temples.

He won't even call me an asshole anymore, Todoroki found himself pondering while Bakugou fed him a liquid meal through his feeding tube. The worst he's called me is a 'fucking weirdo.' Why do I want him to continue calling me names? I don't know, but I feel oddly comfortable around him. Almost...safe.

Abruptly, Todoroki's phone vibrated, and a message from an unknown contact popped up on his lock screen. He arched a brow and previewed the message:

Unknown
Is this Shouto Todoroki?

As Todoroki contemplated a response, Bakugou sighed, "Never realized how damn much of an impact one friend that's now more than a friend could make on my life. Always pushed people away. You already saw how I get when I'm pissed. I always end up hurting the people around me. I say the kinds of things I'd only ever tell myself to others, like I'm projecting myself onto them. When I yell at people, I yell at them like how I'd yell at myself. I say such fucked up things. Hell, I told Deku to take a swan dive off the roof, but I didn't fucking want him to do that. I deserved that, so I told him to do it. I say shit like that without realizing it. But hell is it lonely. Dunno why I can't get over the loneliness after all these years—you'd think I'd be hella used to it, and I am, but it still makes me feel like shit." He slowly cleaned Todoroki's tube with a thin jet of water.

Shouto
is this someone who knows shouto todoroki?

Almost immediately, the unknown sender began to type.

Unknown
Yup

Endeavor would never reply with 'yup' unless he's utterly wasted, Todoroki thought while glancing up to meet Bakugou's imperial eyes. Who would be looking for me?

Todoroki lifted his chin, meeting Bakugou's soft, scarlet gaze. "The people you're with the most usually influence you the most. For example, I've noticed that you shrug a lot more than you ever did. But as long as I'm making a good impact on your life, I'm glad to be able to do that for you."

Shouto
in general or in close relation?

Bakugou nodded before cupping Todoroki's sunken cheek with his robust hand. "So you do care? But yeah, thanks for the shitty habit. Don't take that the wrong way." His thumb traced from Todoroki's cheek to his jawline.

Unknown
You know, that's a good question, Shouto Todoroki

Shouto
what do you want?

Todoroki shrugged, but his eyes were fixed on the predominantly white screen of his phone. "I don't know." He paused for a transient moment. "Katsuki, you don't have to clarify not to take something the wrong way. Just be your genuine self. The more you feel the need to change yourself for the sake of others, the more difficult it becomes to break the habit, and the more you lose yourself."

I would know, Todoroki reminded himself. Sometimes, it feels like there are holes in my memory. Maybe it's from managing so many ideal versions of me for each person I encounter.