Suicidal Todoroki x Depressed Bakugou | Fragments

7 | Jump

Shouto Todoroki

Fuck it, Todoroki growled to himself over the crackling words of Endeavor as he hastened his walking pace. I can't take this anymore. Fuck it. Fuck it! I don't care enough for anything to amount to enough to stop me. I don't care how selfish, cowardly, or damaging it is. I just want to die. I just want this to fucking end. Just let this hell be over. I don't even have the energy to run. It appalls me...how much he's warped my mind. I told myself I'd never believe his bullshit because I'm clearly at a dangerously low weight, but I see it. I've been seeing the truth that shouldn't be the truth. I know I'm not even ninety-five pounds. I should be at least one hundred and twenty-five pounds, but I'm not even allowed to be one hundred and five pounds. I'm fucking weak, but it's so hard to gain weight or put on any muscle that doesn't immediately get eaten away. I'm ridiculously underweight... I'm looked at like an alien. I hate it. I probably weigh around the same as Asui or Uraraka. That's humiliating. Yet, I...look fucking fat. He's told me that I am so many times. I don't disagree anymore. How do I reverse the damage? I guess I deserve it. Is that the price of perfection?

"...er me, you lazy mistake!" Endeavor snarled with vehement virulence.

Todoroki grit his teeth as his breath was sapped by scaling the staircase to the rooftop; his lungs began to burn, and a hot white haze bled into his eyes. "Then why... Why did you make me when I never wanted to be created?!" he fulminated in a visceral whisper. "Why did you make me if all you do is beat the shit out of me? Why did you make me if you're keeping me half alive? Why did you make me if I'm not seen as human to you?" As he plodded to the top of the stairs, the blistering smog swallowing up his body only intensified, so he pressed himself against the side of the wall and sank down.

I sometimes wonder if I'm really alive, Todoroki realized while gulping down a gasp of air. He doesn't treat me like I am. I feel dead to the world. It ignores me, and I ignore it. Just get to the roof...and jump. Jump to freedom. Jump to the end. Jump to perfection. Jump. Fly. Live. Die. I keep living, forgiving, and drowning just to wake up on the shore of the day again. 'It'll get better.' But will I? No matter who I talk to, what choices I make, or what I think, every day, I wake up as the same person I was yesterday. Who is that person? I don't know, but I know it's worthless. Empty. Nothing. It doesn't matter. All that matters is its acts of white lies. I wonder what would happen if it started purging its lies instead of its life.

In a coruscating cacophony of malice-infested vitriol, Endeavor snarled, "Because you were expected to become a masterpiece, but your rebellious, foolish behavior has deemed you worthy of being utterly worthless! You have everything you need to be a Hero, but you've deliberately rejected all of it! Everything you do ends in failure. Every failure defines who and what you are—a failure. You are the reason why you're a failure in the first place!" His piercing voice was a bullet ricocheting between Todoroki's temples.

A torrent of crimson hatred and rage amalgamated within Todoroki as glassy shards of glaucous ice began to creep across his right half while ribbons of tangerine bled from his left half. He trembled from the deluge of apoplectic emotion pulsing through his veins and hammering into his skull from behind his eyes. Repressed screams and ululations boiled up from his chest as he winced in an endeavor to strangle the emotions usurping his sensibility and mind.

Isn't it cruel... Todoroki thought as his flimsy muscles tensed. Isn't it so cruel that when you dedicate your all to saving others, no one will save you? Just bear with the pain. Keep smiling. Keep saving. Keep watching as the world fades. Keep hiding. Keep bleeding away from the eyes of the audience. Keep dying so slowly and so softly. No one will save someone like me. I rip out all the knives in my back and act like it doesn't hurt when it's killing me more with each day. I don't let them see my back—my vulnerable side—so they can't see how deep the wounds run. I've already been struck in the spine. I'm paralyzed. I can't seem to go anywhere with this useless body and mind. But I play it all off. I've fabricated it all. My personality, my beliefs, my identity... I'm everything I pretend to be, but in actuality, I'm none of it. No one would save someone that can't be saved anymore. I've discarded my own identity just to cover up the truth and please the people around me. From one to two, and from there, the two became one, but there was only ever one—the second one was created. Who the hell am I anymore?

As Todoroki staggered up the remaining flight of stairs to the rooftop, he choked down the wailing emotions that threatened to erupt from his throat. "I...don't care," he sighed, and as he pushed open the door to the roof, he was instantaneously tantalized by the guard rail separating him from the arms of the sky. "Why? I already told you. You wanted this, so I'll give it to you. I don't fucking care anymore. If suicide is what perfection is to you, I'll kill myself to be enough for you. That's all I ever fucking wanted. Both. Hope you had fun turning a human into a metallic puppet."

Jump.

"YOU WILL NOT!" Endeavor roared. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!"

"It's too late for that," Todoroki spat as he stared down from the rooftop to the ground below; he could practically feel the sensation of the wind gripping his body in a plummet towards the concrete. "I'm erasing a mistake from the world. Aren't you happy? Isn't this perfect for you? You can listen to the moment that my body hits the ground. How much different would that be from you throwing me around like a cheap, disposable plastic toy? Goodbye, Endeavor." With that, Todoroki lowered the volume of his phone to the lowest setting, held his breath, and jumped over the guard railing of the rooftop.

[Bad Ending 1:
"No One's Looking"]