Better Not Be Love

CHAPTER 12 - START OVER

Four days. It's been four days since I last saw Eugene. It was as though he had suddenly disappeared from this freaking planet. Nobody knew where he went, no matter who I asked. He claimed to have some pressing matters at home and left without specifying an approximate date of return. And frustration would be an insult to describe how I feel right now. Is this how rejection feels? I was so used to ignoring people that I had forgotten what it was like to be ignored. And even when my ex-boyfriends ended things with me, I was indifferent and didn't feel half as furious as I do now.

On the fourth day, I became so irritated that I began yelling at random individuals to vent some of my rage.

"Perhaps you should get some rest."

Nathaniel had suggested it after spotting me scribbling so hard on the paper that it almost tore. I was aware that I might be acting immaturely and that I had never allowed my personal sentiments to interfere with my career before. But this time, I felt far stronger emotions driving me. Eugene has struck a chord deep within me that I did not know existed.

I have never felt so ashamed of myself after I acquired Eugene's phone number from one of his colleagues while making a pathetic excuse. I didn't want to approach Carla since I was frightened she would figure out what was going on. She was far too astute when it came to these kinds of issues.

I was currently sitting alone behind the production team's tent, my gaze fixed on my phone's screen, which revealed Eugene's contact list. I saved his name as 'Pain in the Ass' since that was exactly how he was acting right now. He could have simply rejected me personally. Why did he have to make me seem horrible by going incognito? It was making me feel unbelievably bad.

"Don't tell me you don't have the report."

Someone shouted from within the tent, and I moaned in exhaustion. Should I call him? Will he think I am desperate? Of course he would, given that I was behaving like a sex-deprived lunatic.

"Call Eugene right now. He must have a copy."

My ears perked up as I heard his name, and I leaned back, shamelessly listening in on the discussion amongst his crew members.

"But he is on leave."

Someone responded meekly; however, the other guy was not swayed.

"I don't care. I have a report due today. Call him. Tell him to hurry. It's his punishment for having such lousy teammates."

I listened as someone answered yes, and I swear I really wasn't breathing while I waited for the girl's reply, which took about three minutes.

"I have told him. He said he would be back before noon with the extra copy."

I heard a "yes," followed by a chuckle, and was flabbergasted to discover that it had come from my throat. I slapped my palm over my mouth, hoping that my little display of madness did not alert anyone inside. I felt my lips once I was sure I was undetected, and they were so wide they hurt my cheeks.

Shit!

Shit, this was a big problem.

................

I was back to my normal self for the remainder of the morning, and Nathaniel looked relieved that I was smiling once more. I didn't know what was wrong with me, but I made a promise to myself that I would try to avoid combining my personal and professional lives in the future. I kept looking at the time and thought it was taking fifteen minutes for each second to pass. I understand that it sounds absurd, yet none of my recent actions made sense.

Finally, when it was time for lunch, I was tempted to practically dash to the production team's tent. However, I restrained myself from becoming too needy. I have always had a tight grasp on my conduct, and even though I am losing it, I am not going to give it up altogether.