Letters

Chapter 8

For three weeks after my falling out with Mason I did not leave my room. I laid on my bed every day from the moment I woke up to the moment I went back to sleep. I listened to the same sad song by Sam Smith over and over again until I would eventually burst into tears. Every day was the same, until the last night before I left to university. I didn't cry. Not because I was okay with what happened, but because I had no tears left to shed for Mason Schick. I knew that I couldn't sit around wasting my life and thinking of how deeply he hurt me. Because the truth is, I'm no longer sad he left. I'm furious. Ive gone from extreme sadness to anger in one quick motion, and for the first time in my life, I knew I was in love.

I talked about being love before, the feeling that I get inside my stomach when I'm with Mason. But I just assumed I was in love because he's the only one that's ever made me so happy it feels like you can conquer the world. I know it must be love because he's made me the saddest I have ever felt in my life.

My last night at home, I finally worked up the courage to go to Mason's house and deliver him the letter that I promised. I threw away the original and wrote a new one,

Dear Mason,

For the past three weeks I have been in a dark place, and as hard as I tried to find some sort of light, I couldn't do it. Not when I know that you are this mad at me.

There are a millions things I wish I did differently that night. I wish I told you that I was leaving sooner so we had time for some closure. I wish I got to spend the last few weeks here with you. But I messed up. It's my fault you weren't here, not yours.

I have cried every tear in my body waiting for you to return my calls. When Days Went by, my sadness grew deeper. When weeks went by, my anger took over. I realized that you were never going to call, and you were no longer worth the pain. One day I hope to find someone who is worthy of my tears and I hope you find someone who is worthy of yours.

I love you, but I guess this just was never meant to be,

Anna

I gathered whatever strength I had left in my body and headed over to Masons at 2am. I noticed that his bedroom light was still on. He looked out his window and our eyes stayed connected for a few short moment. I looked into his tear filled eyes, and became aware of my eyes. Which were still bone dry. I have no sympathy for Mason Smith. At this moment, my eyes are full of anger. I put the letter on his front steps and went back home.

That is the last time I will ever see Mason, or at least, that's what I thought.