Accidents Happen

34.

'Back on the bus kids!' Dick yelled as we hung around the gas station while the bus was being refuelled. Someone had found a football and I watched Woody, Will and Kyle kick it around between parked up trucks. Dan was busy on the phone to his producer talking songs so I left him to it. I giggled as the boys ignored Dicks exasperated sigh. It literally was like watching children and their fed up father trying to bring them in. 

To say we had a busy time would be an understatement. Every single moment of the day was filled with something. Even on the long journeys between States, the boys were busy recording things, writing, being interviewed or playing around on their phones on social media. Then night times were spent at venues, the boys performing to packed out crowds. And I got to see them perform for the first time from the sidelines or the back of the room, sitting with the crew. I was getting along with everyone and I felt so comfortable, like I was part of this weird travelling circus family.

Then we'd get back on the bus, all sitting in the living room talking into the early hours. I'd mostly stay up too but some nights I'd barely keep my eyes open and head to my bunk. But sometimes I'd remain awake for a few more minutes, listening to the sounds of all the men down the galley, laughing and talking, sending me to sleep. And then sometimes Dan would follow not long after. We'd lay in our respective bunks talking. He'd dangle his head down through my curtains into my bunk until his head went dizzy and I'd drift off happily.

Finally one night as we were watching a film on the way from Colorado to Kansas in the main living room with Kyle and Will and some of the crew, I felt a familiar thud in my stomach.

'Dan!' I gasped. Everyone turned to me.

'What? What's wrong?' He panicked.

'Its kicking, come feel it!' I put my hand just left of my belly button and felt the baby pushing against my skin through my fingers. I'd felt lots of movement, but never while Dan was around to feel it too. Dan crouched in front of me. He was hesitant to begin with, weary of touching the bump. I took his hand in mine and guided him to where I'd felt it. I willed the baby to kick again.

'Talk to it.' Will suggested. Everyone was watching with anticipation. I could see Dan was, not embarrassed, but unsure. He put his head to my stomach, probably the most intimate we'd been in 26 weeks, and whispered so only I could hear.

'Give daddy a kick. I know you're in there.'

I giggled, the feeling of his breath through my shirt making me feel ticklish. And then...

'Woah.' He laughed. On queue the baby gave a massive, almost sickening kick. And it then continued to dance around, pushing against my bladder and making me run to the toilet amidst laughter.

I couldn't believe how much fun I was having. I was so glad I'd decided to come along rather than sitting at home on my own. And spending almost every second of the day with Dan certainly strengthened our relationship. When it came to staying in hotels, we'd completely forgotten about having separate rooms. It just seemed normal to share. Though we kept it totally platonic. We each kept to our side of the bed.

'What happened with Thomas? Is he ok with you being here?' Dan wondered out loud when we woke up one morning. I hadn't actually told Thomas. I had taken the very mature route of ignoring his texts, because it felt easier than telling him I didn't want a relationship.

'Things didn't work out.' I lied.

'Oh. That's a shame.' He did a good job at sounding disappointed.

Three weeks into the trip we arrived in Jackson, the largest city in my home state of Mississippi and I felt on edge. The chances of my parents travelling here from Bruce was slim, but I still couldn't relax. I was home. And I wasn't sure just how I felt about that.