Accidents Happen

12. The truth comes out

Once everything, all four boxes and two bin liners full of everything I owned were in my car, I checked my phone. Scott had landed.

'Where are you moving to anyway?' Ben suddenly asked. I hadn't thought that far ahead. I had some cash for a hotel for a few nights. I could probably get away with sofa surfing at various acquaintances for another week. I shrugged and grimaced at him. 'Ally!' He scalded me. 'You know I love having you, but my girlfriend-'

'I won't ask you to put up with me another moment, don't worry. Dan said I could crash at his but I don't know-'

'Yes. Thats perfect. You should. He's a really nice guy.' Was he just saying that to ease his conscience?

'Yeah he is, I just...I don't know him and-'

'You're having his baby. I think you should get to know him.' He was right. Of course he was.

'Ben, you better go. Scott will be here soon.' I pushed him verbally and physically.

'You sure you'll be ok on your own? Do you want me to stay?'

'No, I have to do this alone.' We hugged, probably a little tighter than usual. 'I'll ring you later. Thanks for helping, see ya tomorrow.' I said to Ben as he left.

There wasnt much time before I watched from the window as Scott get out of the taxi in his full army gear. It had been the uniform that had drawn me to him to begin with. He'd been on leave and fresh off the plane when we met at a bar I worked at. He'd only be staying for three days and we spent those days in bed. Then I'd moved into his while he was away. The longest we'd spent together was a month before he went back to Iraq. But this time was supposed to be for good. He was leaving the army. For me.

I began to shake as he walked through the door. His skin was darker, a mixture of tan and inadequate showers. It made his eyes look brighter, bluer. Even his brown hair seemed lighter. I could see he'd been using the camp gym, as his jacket strained under the size of his biceps.

'I missed you so much.' He declared. He dropped his bags and scooped me up in one move. He kissed me passionately and hungrily. I allowed it but he didn't seem to notice my reluctance. Still in his arms as though I was a feather, he walked through to the living room and we lay down on the sofa. He kissed my neck, the back of my ears, down to my shoulder blades, all the while his hands groping my breasts, tangling his fingers into my hair. I had to stop this before it went any further.

'Babe.' I whispered. He didn't hear me. I tried to redirect his hands away from my stomach by entwining our fingers, but he seemed fixated on only one thing; sex. 'Babe..wait...' I said a little louder. His fingers were working on undoing my belt buckle. 'Stop.' I warned.

'Baby what's wrong?' He stopped, allowing me to sit up and brush the hair from my face. 'I thought you missed me?'

'I did. I do. I just...' I had to tell him now. I couldn't lead him on another moment. 'Scott...I'm pregnant.'

'What?' His face fell from happiness to devastation.

'Yeah.'

'How far?'

'Two months.'

I watched him add up the dates in his head. And I watched his face fill with realization.

'Its not mine is it?' He didn't accuse me. He sounded almost defeated. I shook my head.

'I am so sorry. It was one time, one drunken night out and it happened and I just...I made a mistake.'

'You need to leave.' He said with no hint of anger, just sadness.

'I've already packed my stuff. I just needed to come and tell you. In person. I'm so sorry.'

There was a weird moment between us. Almost like we were both glad this had happened. He was clearly upset, but I knew he wasn't going to fight for me. And that spoke volumes about our relationship. It had only lasted this long out of convenience. Not love.

'Bye Ally.'

'Goodbye Scott.' I fought the urge to hug him. Because after all, it hadn't been a bad time we'd spent together. It just wasn't right. I'd miss him, knowing we'd probably never speak again.

'so, fancy a housemate?' I text Dan as I sat in my car and caught my breath. It had all ended so fast. Part of me was even a little hurt that Scott wasn't more visibly upset. Which was ridiculous, because I didn't want him to be.

I hadn't expected Dan to reply so fast. He must have been back from America.

'Have u told your bf then? And absolutely!'

'Yeh, he knows. R u home?'

'I am. Do you need me to come get you?' I had planned on doing what I'd told Ben, I'd go in a hotel for a few days. But as Dan was home and I should probably just get it over with, I decided to take him up on his offer right away. The less turmoil the better.

'Nah I got all my stuff in my car ready.'

The next message contained his address, which I typed into the satnav before driving away from the flat for the last time.