What Binds Us (OHSHC fan-fic)

Chapter Nine---You Hurt Me and You Don't Know How

The girl in the picture is Miku. She is going to be wearing her glasses for this chapter, but as you can see, she looks damn sexy in her glasses. Haha oh, and that is the hoodie she wears outside of school along with black, bootie shorts. No, that is not skanky, she's at home, it's perfectly acceptable. The song is Lost In Paradise by Evanescence. In the story, Miku creates this song in this chapter and the song in the last chapter was Hanging On by Ellie Goulding. Miku created that song at the end of the last chapter. Also, the video is good mood music.

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I didn't go to school the next day. I told Dad that I wasn't feeling good emotionally and wanted to stay home because all my friends were unfaithful mutes; I really did  tell him this while my face was shoved into my pillow. I always spoke my mind with my eccentric dad because I knew he would understand me. When Haruhi and I got home after school yesterday, I hadn't talked to her for a few hours, I was too busy trying to calm myself. I still remember the conversation we had, it was seared into my skull.

Last Night

I had already changed into my comfy house clothes and I was locked up in the storage room, also known as my music room. I glanced at a picture of Kotoko that sat next to the old, grand piano I sat at. I missed her. Before she died, I would cling to her on my mom's anniversary instead of Haruhi. I loved Haruhi even then, but Kotoko was a mom to me even before my real mom left. Kotoko was my rock and when she became sick, she'd told me that I wasn't going to be alone. I was going to find people that loved me and would take care of me, that I had to be strong; I had to think of others and give everything I was into loving people. She didn't believe that I was damaged, and instead loved me and called me her second daughter. I really missed her.

I blocked everything out and concentrated on what I was feeling, so I could put it into music and lyrics. I took a shaky breath and pressed the dark notes that floated about in my head. Instead of planning lyrics, I just let my soul fly from my mouth. 

I've been believing in something so distant
As if I was human
And I've been denying this feeling of hopelessness
In me, in me
All the promises I made
Just to let you down
You believed in me, but I'm broken

I have nothing left
And all I feel is this cruel wanting

We've been falling for all this time
And now I'm lost in paradise

As much as I'd like the past not to exist
It still does
And as much as I'd like to feel like I belong here
I'm just as scared as you

I have nothing left
And all I feel is this cruel wanting

We've been falling for all this time
And now I'm lost in paradise

Run away, run away
One day we won't feel this pain anymore

Take it all away
Shadows of you
Cause they won't let me go

Until I have nothing left
And all I feel is this cruel wanting

We've been falling for all this time
And now I'm lost in paradise

Alone, and lost in paradise

 

After screaming my heart out into the empty room, I just sat quietly for awhile until a light knocking on the wood door broke me from my depression. I pushed up my glasses and sighed,"Come in, Haruhi."

My sister came in and sat down beside me quietly, pressing a curious finger on my piano,"Miku, I know you're upset and hurt. You're more important to me than some debt I owe, and I shouldv'e spoken up when she threatened you like that and defended you. You're my little sister, and I need to be there for you like a big sister should. I won't let you hurt like that again, or let you feel alone. Can you forgive me?"