back to you - 1

insecurities

selenas pov:

it was just a normal day at kylian's house and i was bored out of my mind, i had nothing to do i was literally jobless for the day. i had done everything from making spotify playlists to creating boards on pinterest . i'd rather stay at home then go outside so i didnt ask anyone to go out, i would've took kylians mum somewhere but my social battery was literally dead for the day. i felt extremely angsty for no reason.

'booo' the door opens and kylian arrives, perfect timing.

'ugh i miss you so much, i'm literally in one of my moods again - you know, i needed you so much', i explain to kylian.

'come here baby', kylian says as he embraces me tightly on the sofa.

the room fell silent until kylian opened his phone to instagram. his feed was mostly of his football friends, and the other was just full of instagram and actual runway models that he was friends with and followed way before me. being a model myself, i just hated it as i felt like he is comparing myself to them. i can't help but feel like this, that i'm not enough for him. i know it's so stupid but it was the truth. some of these girls had no work done to them aswell, but i have purely because of feeling insecure my whole life and hating myself.

so far, me and kylian have been perfect, i don't want to jinx it but perfect. i hate to be the type of toxic girlfriend or who reeks of insecurity (so me, i cannot help it), however there is so much i can take and i honestly felt like bursting out crying and letting my emotions control me.

my throat got dry when he stared at a girls post on his explode page who i knew he had a thing with or whatever, i'm not sure, they were just pictured together in a restaurant. i let out a big sigh.

'what', kylian and laughed.

i broke eye contact immediately and tried to shuffle out of his embrace.

'hello what happened sel', he questioned once again this time looking worried.

i rose up from the sofa to completely escape him, leaving him dumbfounded as this was the first time i snubbed his contact. as kylian saw me head out of the living area, i could tell that he felt a tiny surge of worry rush over him.

i snapped back sassily before going upstairs, 'ask your instagram hoes'.

i suddenly felt regret, why was i doing this and making a big deal. i hate that how jealous i was, i'm surprised he hasn't got the ick or left me just the way i've been acting today.

kylian got up after me and tried to hold me again.

'do you actually mind?' i spit out.

'why are you being like this?'

'being like what? your the one that's staring at what one of your hoes is posting on instagram'.

'first of all, you know so well that you're the only in my life because we literally do everything together, stop being stupid. you know that i love you', kylian pleased.

i tried to contain my smile as i knew what he was saying was true. he has made it adamant from the start about how deeply he cares for me and how loyal he is to me.

'secondly, she was literally wearing my shirt i leant her 2 years ago, that's why i was staring at it because i found it very odd'.

'oh' i say in shock. in my head i regretted everything as i created all that tension and drama for nothing.

'shit kylian, i'm sorry', i don't know what to do so i just laugh as a coping mechanism as i'm filled to the brim with embarassment.

'come here, i get home, you've been waiting for me and you do this, you espèce d'imbécile' (idiot) he says sarcastically.

i threw myself at him whilst kylian absorbed my touch and starting peppering kisses on my forehead and on my lips.

'you do do know selena, how much i love and adore you', he confessed as he started playing with my curls.

'i love you too, my love'.

we did our night time routines, i have created a skin care routine for kylian to follow as he is always so satisfied with my products, his skin is so CLEAR like glass and beautiful. what would it be without me.

'come, let's get into bed, it's been such a long day and i want you all to myself' kylian lifts me onto the bed and falls on top of me.

that night, he didn't let me escape him or roll over onto the other side of the bed. i was his little spoon for once,as he held me throughout the whole entire night. maybe i should start being the brat more because that means i don't have to baby him.

kylian got to sleep before me and once he did, i felt worried and fearful, i don't know how long it will take before me being an insecure bitch and a brat before it will all become too much for him.

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hi guys,

wow so many of u have read this story and i don't know why😭😭😭i took a long break because i thought this wasn't serious and because i had exams but i'll be trying to updating as much as i can.

thanks again for reading this bs🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼